Cartman's backyard, day. By the fence, Cartman, wearing a ranger hat and outfit, and some other boys in similar attire, have erected a small U.S. border with a sign saying "Welcome to Texas" on it. The sign also has an outline of the State of Texas on it. Cartman is patrolling the border with DogPoo and Jason. They are holding Super-Soakers and pop-guns, plastic forks are duct-taped to the fence. Cartman scans for illegals with his binoculars
Cartman:[turns around] Alright, y'all, keep your eyes peeled and your guns ready. [spits something out, wipes his lips clean with the back of his shirt sleeve, and returns to patrolling the border] There's a heap of Mexicans out there who want nothin' more than to sneak past our border, and we've gotta stop them!
Liane:[walking out] Eric Y/N, you wanna say hi to Grandpa?
Cartman:Not now, Mom! We're playing Texans versus Mexicans! Gah! [turns to the boys and Y:N on the ground - Clyde, Craig, and Timmy] All right, patrol, you all know the drill. Not one Mexican is to get past this border! Not a single one! Yeehaw!
The other four (exceptTimmy):Yeehaw!
Y/N:I want to talk to Grandpa
Cartman:No you need to stay z at
In the woods nearby, Butters leads five other boys in a plot to get past the U.S. border at Cartman's house - Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Jimmy, and Tolkien
Butters:Fellow Meheecans! This time, we're gonan try rushin' the Texans from the left side! Do not give up home, for I am Mantequilla! Viva la Meheeco!
Stan:Uh, Butters, I think we're gonna go back to Kyle being team leader.
Butters:[saddened] Oh, what, I'm not a good Meheecan?
Stan:You're a great Meheecan, Butters, but maybe just not a leader of Meheeco.
Kyle:Look, guys, all we need to do is split up and apply some good diversion tactics. We'll use the Texans' emotions against them.
Back at the border, Cartman scans the surrounding area, making sound effects while doing so
Cartman:[robot voice] Scanning for Mexicans. [more sound effects] Oh! [spots Kyle coming out of the woods] We've got a Mexican! [Y/N and Craig take up posts]
Kyle:Hey Texans! Let me through; we want a treaty!
Cartman:[to the other kids] He's trying a simple diversion tactic, thinks we're stupid. [to Kyle] Ha ha! You're gonna have to do better than that, Mexican!
Kyle:Better than being a fat-ass Texan!
Cartman:Hey! Just because I'm Texan, it doesn't mean I'm fat!
Kyle:No, you're fat to begin with, chubby! Now you're Texan too!
Cartman:Oh yeah?! Oh yeah?! Well, you're a fuckin' Jew, Kyle! And now you're a Mexican Jew! You dirty, no good... Mexijew! [Stan sneaks in past a cardboard box labelled "Christmas Ornaments"] Let's just see you try and-!
Stan:Base! [the others turn to see Stan in their midst]
Cartman:Clyde?! [descends from his perch atop the border and goes to Clyde] What the fuck are you doin'?! You just let a Mexican through!
Clyde:I was enthralled with the dialog exchange.
Cartman:Ugh, yeah?! Well, you all need to stay focused, Goddamnit! [Tolkien appears at the other end of the border and hops over] If you let yourselves get distracted for even one minute, we're gonna be overrun with these jobless, no good-!
Tolkien:Base!
Cartman:Dude!! [walks over to Craig] How did he get past the fence, Craig?!
Craig:I didn't hear him coming with all your screaming.
YOU ARE READING
Crazy South Park love Craig Tucker x reader(Cartman sister)
DiversosYou are Y/N Y/M/N Cartman and you are 16 years old. You and Carman are twins but your mom couldn't take care of you and you had to like with the rest of your family. A few years later you have the option to live with your mom and you pack your stuf...
