Luna of Conquest

DROWNING

WARNING: COULD BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE. 

Kayleigh fought the emotions wrestling inside her mind. She could feel her sisters anguish shift into her own, feeling guilty there was nothing that could be done. If this was the feelings flowing through her sister, what about the rest of their pack? How could she be free of their grasp and be able to live knowing they were still there struggling. She felt as if she was not doing enough. Her feet finally gave out and she face planted into the hard dirt. She pushed herself into a squatted position, hands hovered either side of her face. The tears just flowed out as she struggled to catch her breath. One word repeated itself over and over. Almost like an echo, bouncing in the empty space of the mind, till it started flowing out.

"Why....." I barely whispered, "Why...."

Each word grew louder.

"Why..... Why....."

The tears now streamed out, my body started shaking.

"WHY! WHY! WHY!"

My voice went from barely a whisper into harsh screaming. The word eventually just getting drowned out as I released all of my frustrations out with the loudest screams I could muster. I would lose my voice after this but I could not hold it anymore. I was drowning. It was suffocating me as my thoughts swirled around deeper and deeper about the past. The memories flooded back, each one dragging me through every painful second. My breath began to catch in my throat as I fought to push out the memories but nothing worked. There was no end to it.

My body's shaking caused my balance to waiver. My fists smashed the ground as I tried to fight it. I wanted everything that flowed through me to leave with every hit. It only exhausted me more and causes the paranoia to hit harder. Knowing if I became weak I would not be able to save anyone made me hate how I couldn't do anything. I had to overcome this to be able to save them. But... how? How could I save them by myself? How could I stand against all of those warriors who are capable of taking out an entire pack? The slaughter of my own pack flashed through my mind. My father while trying his best to protect his pack was taken down in minutes. Someone who we later learned was one of the immortal beings. It would take an army just to take down that monster.

A hand gently pressed against my arm. Fear rushed through me as I twisted around and threw everything I had into clawing them. I wasn't going down, at least not without a fight. My nails hit my mark but they carefully grabbed my wrist just as fast. The warm tingling I felt from their touch didn't click right away as my obvious shaking began to calm. I stared at the bleeding marks on the face for a second till he turned to me. I gasped as I realize who I just hit, Kaleb. It was my mate. He managed to find me after I ran. The tears came blubbering out of me even harder as the comfort of our touch slowly took effect. I couldn't do it; I could not handle being comforted while they were still out there somewhere. I tried to fight off his hand but it was no use, between the exhausted state I put myself in and his strength I was not going to win. He looked to me, taking in my appearance.

"Kayleigh..." He whispered.

I shook my head. Even if I wanted to talk my voice was still stuck in my throat. He reached out with his other hand. Slowly and carefully wrapping his finger around my wrist and pulling it from my chest. I dug my heels into the ground to try and fight the slight tug he gave in an effort to pull me into his arms. A small sigh escaped him before giving another tug this time succeeding. I fell into his chest and he quickly locked his arms around me. I wiggled and fought but my body was slowing giving up, exhaustion taking over. The security I felt just by him holding me was overwhelming.

"I am sorry," He whispers.

My head snapped up to his. Why? What had he done to be sorry?

"I am here now, okay?" He continues to whisper.

I realized his eyes were closed when he opens them and looks down into my own eyes. The emotions I see swirling around in them were some I recognized and some I do not. We sat there together staring at each other for a moment. His one arm released its grip to place his hand on the side of my face and a dead serious look surfaces.

"We will find them," He spoke sternly, "You are not alone in this fight got it?"

He was trying to comfort me.

"You were meant to get out of there understand? You were meant to find us. To help us gather the people to help those held prisoner and to stop the group responsible. Understand? You are the key to helping them, do not lose yourself or the hope that your sister entrusted with you by helping you escape." He spoke sternly. "I imagine she risked a lot by doing that. So do not lose hope, okay? Hang in there. You have me by your side now. I know it might be scary for you since your sister's mate was not good; but I am. I am the one next to you. I am the one sitting here with you and trying to help you keep from drowning in your past. It is never an easy fight but sometimes you have to put trust into someone to help you drag yourself out."

I stared into his eyes. They only showed his love and compassion. I was angry with myself for hitting him. I pulled my hand to wipe at the scratch that was now almost healed. He took my hand in his and kissed it. The tears turned to sniffles and occasional ragged gasps of breath. I pressed into him, curling up. He wrapped his arm around my legs, pulling me tighter into him, almost protectively. I wanted this to be over. For my sister to be next to me safe and hugging me like she always did when I was down. To see all of those held captive to be healing and moving on, learning to be free again.

"Everything you have survived will make you stronger."

I gasped looking up at him. His dark eyes telling me I could do it.

"You can fight it and you can win. You are my mate and you are stronger than you may think. I believe you will be able to reach the path you want to accomplish. You just have to win the battles you are fighting right now before you can take the next step."

He was right. It was the last fight I needed to win before I could move forward and help them.

I had to fight the darkness swirling itself around in my mind. I want so badly to save the ones left alive and my sister. The only way that will even become possible is winning the battles in my mind first. But that was not going to be easy. Trauma is one of the hardest things to beat down and conquer, many never beat it. I wanted to do everything in my power to save them which means I have to conquer this not matter how rough it would be doing it. I pulled my hand over my face and curled into his heat.

The first thing I need to do was breathe.