Mafia in the morning, sweetheart in the night|2YEON|ENG

Special thanks

Don't hate me, it's not a chapter, I promise I'll update later. I just wanted to say a few words to describe how wattpad has changed me. Today is my eighteenth birthday (I'm an adult) and, despite hating this day, I have come to some important conclusions.

You probably might not be interested in it but I would like to tell you a little about myself to better understand who is the crazy one who makes incoherent and drama-filled plots.

You need to know that I don't have a great self esteem, indeed sometimes I am the first to judge myself. Sometimes I wish I was invisible to others but it would be better if I was invisible to myself.

In the last four years of my life many things have changed and I began to hate myself, what I said, what I did, my appearance and, above all, my smile. It may be a coincidence but this dark period of my life coincided with the discovery of kpop (especially twice and blackpink) and what I always say is that music saved my life. I mean it literally.

But there is something else that makes me feel better: writing. When I was little I wanted to be a writer and my teacher told me that I was good, that I was the best, but then, for reasons of recommendations, my grades were lowered and so I began to lose self-esteem. In middle school I wrote less but when I did it my teacher complimented me. But in high school, I dropped everything. No more stories, no more poems... I began to devote myself to writing some songs (which I still write) because it certainly wouldn't have made sense to write stories that no one would read.

And then I downloaded wattpad. I used it for the first time in 2017 but it was an absurd story, written just for fun. In 2018 I was using it for other ffs but it all started in 2020. It was just a way to feel closer to 2yeon and then it turned into something more important. Writing on wattpad is my lifeblood.

I've gotten to a point where I hate myself so much that I don't want to celebrate my birthday. It's not about hating birthday, it's about hating my existence. But do I hate being born or what happened later that led me to this? Yet people continue to blame and judge us if we are sad and don't realize that they are responsible for everything.

But writing helped me a lot and now it's indispensable for me. But let's talk about you... Some have followed me since "You make me a sad girl" and if you are one of them I can't help but feel honored. Others read my books without knowing that they belong to the same person, others may have read all my books because they found the previous ones interesting. Even if you've only read one chapter, that extra digit on the number of readers, that little star and that kind or funny comment was a piece of the puzzle that led me to feel better about myself.

I hope that somehow you can understand something about me. Not that I'm a sad girl who wants to share her experiences to be the center of attention, but how much you make me happy in your little and are making come true the dream of the child me, who is still inside me but has been buried for so many bad people I've met in my life.

Thanks again. I don't know what I would do without you. I really mean it🖤