I Want You To Be My Last

Part 14 : Compromise

As much as he disliked the way the night ended, Gulf supposed it was - inevitable. And wise, for the most part.

Inevitable because he had a feeling P'Mew knew that staying was out of the question - Gulf believed that the other man wouldn't even consider the things he did earlier, braving the consequences by dropping by and using Gulf's own keycard to let himself into the building he wasn't a resident of just to please him; it was more than that, he was certain of it - and wise because obviously, rushing things would only complicate matters if not ruin it, to say the least.

He was clearly not thinking straight, allowing his selfish wishes (and desire) to cloud his judgment when he'd whined like a toddler stopping P'Mew from leaving - was he planning on getting down and dirty on the night they officially 'met' like he was so obviously hinting on, and if so, did it mean that he had the slightest idea on how to do it, how it would go when he had never done anything sexual with a man before? - when he should have known better?

The realization was both embarrassing and exhilarating, especially when he was left alone long enough to think about what he'd done, what he was obviously trying to do. P'Mew certainly was the smarter one, pulling away even when Gulf was literally begging him to stay. But even then, even when he had a feeling P'Mew left so hastily on purpose, it wasn't difficult to tell that every single thing that happened thereafter, from the moment P'Mew's gift gave Gulf away and the older man recognized him, was because they both wanted it.

Gulf would eat his own shoe if this wasn't the case, really.

There were a handful of reasons why Gulf felt confident enough to say the things he'd said, despite the embarrassment his actions had caused him afterward.

The kiss definitely was one.

It had only been for a moment, just a fleeting one but Gulf could still feel P'Mew's lips against his own, the warmth of his body when he pulled Gulf into his arms. If there had been awkwardness between them when P'Mew held him, he honestly didn't feel it; it was as if he knew all along how it would feel to be close to P'Mew, wondering and equal-parts hoping it was the same for the other man even when his heart was telling him he was right.

Minutes ticked by but it honestly felt as if time wasn't moving at all, and Gulf felt as though he was suspended in that moment where he stood there right against the wall watching P'Mew, remembering the way the other man kept on repeating the same thing as if gauging Gulf's reaction and making sure he knew what he was getting into.

His gaze dropped on the bracelet he still wore around his wrist and sighed, lost in thought, until the sound of his phone vibrating on the low table caught his attention.

He reached over to take it, fingers shaking as he unlocked the screen.

I think I may have forgotten something , the message read. For a moment there, Gulf wondered what it was, until a next message came through right after the first.

Your keycard. I forgot to return it.

Gulf sighed. He'd remembered it too, of course, but it wasn't until the door closed behind P'Mew that Gulf did. To be fair, it was understandable that he'd kind of forgotten certain things the moment P'Mew stepped into the threshold and right into that space Gulf reserved for himself and to those closest to him, awed and equal-parts elated that it was difficult to focus on other things when the man's presence alone demanded Gulf's undivided attention.

It's fine. But, I mean, did you want to? , he added, itching to bite his nails, anticipating P'Mew's answer, breathing unevenly and wondering why he was acting like he was going to be rejected when he was certain it was far from happening. P'Mew liked him enough to break his own rules just to get to him, to want to hug him and kiss him, however briefly the encounter was.