I Want You To Be My Last

Part 31 : Labels

"Is Mew Suppasit your secret girlfriend?"

Gulf stilled, muscles tensing in surprise, unable to get his brain work fast enough to say something, anything, in response to his manager's very sudden inquiry. He was certain P'Best was looking expectantly at him and waiting. It took him a moment to realize P'Best didn't sound as if he was even asking a question - it might have been phrased as one, but long association with P'Best told him it was anything but.

If anything, the question was simply to confirm what his manager already knew. As if on cue, P'Best straightened, crossing his arms over his chest obviously letting the defiance speak for itself. There was no way he was going to get out of this by lying even if he tried.

Well, shit.

He wondered what gave him away, but that wasn't what was important now, was it?

He looked down to think. Contemplating answering the question or evading it, if he could. He didn't like that the question was making him feel like he was caught doing something bad, but there it was nonetheless. He shook his head and swallowed past the lump in his throat, gathering up the courage as he looked up and met P'Best's gaze straight on.

"Well?" P'Best asked, impatiently.

He shrugged, opting on acting like it wasn't a big deal despite knowing it was the opposite. "If he was, I assure you I'm not going to keep it a secret, Phi," he countered, his voice just loud enough for P'Best to hear, obviously not the answer P'Best was expecting, but whatever. His personal life wasn't P'Best's to manage, and he had all the right to keep it as it was.

P'Best eyed him as if he wanted to say something, wary as someone who knew better; Gulf wanted to feel bad for the older man being this conflicted. Knowing P'Best like he did, he was certain the older man was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was even trying to convince himself that Gulf was old enough to make decisions for himself, and that he, of all people, should know that Gulf wasn't that stupid to put his career at risk for involving himself with another man.

The silence stretched longer than he was certain they were both comfortable with, but out of respect for P'Best, he remained standing there. When he saw P'Best shook his head, he realized he was bracing himself for what was to come.

"You won't hear me comment on that if he's a girl, Kanawut," P'Best murmured, looking at him as if he was gauging his reaction. "But you and I both know that's not the case here. I shouldn't even have to remind you of the things you could lose should the public learn about this, you realize? You're smart. I know you're aware of the risks." P'Best said, and this time, he wasn't even trying to pretend he knew nothing. To be honest, Gulf preferred it that way.

He chuckled, half-hearted at best because, hadn't he heard the same thing from P'Mew himself? The irony wasn't lost to him, really. "Believe me, Phi, that's exactly what he's worried about as well," he snorted, stepping back further until he was leaning against the cold wall.

P'Best didn't even look surprised. He wondered if that should worry him or not. "Because he knows the struggle better than anyone, Nong," the older man murmured, not bothering to explain since they both know what he meant.

He raised his head and looked his manager in the eyes. "Exactly, Phi." he countered. Well, he understood where P'Best was coming from, what was forcing him to talk to him about the situation when he normally wouldn't, at least not in this way. He was used to P'Best dropping reminders disguised as casual remarks to warn him, but this felt different somehow.

Obviously, it had everything to do with the fact that his supposed girlfriend was a guy.

P'Best still looked wary, eyeing him as if he needed to hear more to be convinced. Gulf hoped he could give him more, but he was at this point where things weren't settled just yet. He wasn't sure when it would happen, but he was hoping it would be soon.