criminalminds x reader

chapter 59

Tw sh

Me and em slept at her place.
"Y/n I want to talk to you about something" em said.
"Can we talk tomorrow? I'm tired"
I say kissing her and going into the bathroom to change.
She looked disappointed but I don't have the mental capacity right now.
I just wanted to sleep so I could turn of my brain.

The next morning em was gone.
I start to panic and take my phone.
I see a text from her.

Babe💘: I had to go to work earlier. Come In as soon as possible.

I was scared something had happened.

I get dressed and immediately drive of to work.
The rest of the team was in.
"Does anybody know something?" I asked. But nobody knew.
We all looked up to emily and rossi who walked out.
"We need to talk" Rossi said.

We all moved to the conference room.
"It's hotch" Rossi went on.
"What? Did something happen ?"  P asked.
"He's okay, but he has not been away on special assignment. That's something we had to say as a cover for the investigation"

"What investigation?" I asked confused.
" hotch saw Peter Lewis  watching one of Jack's soccer games"

"By the time hotch reacted Lewis had taken off. The bureau searched the area but he discovered" em added.
"When was this?" Jj asked.

"Days after scratch resurfaced in arizona" Rossi answered.

"One of the victims was chanting his name. When we found her she had hotch carved into her forehead.  It really got to him " tara added.

"Why didn't he tell us? We could have focused on finding mister scratch" spence said.

"He knows we can't drop everything , also he didn't want to worry everyone" Rossi responded.

"So now what? Around the clock survalence?" Luke asked.
"Initially yes, agents were assigned to watch Jack 24/7. But when we were all in LA on the John David bats case. Scratch surfaced again , this time at Jack's school"

I sigh
"Peter Lewis is not going to stop. Which is why hotch and Jack have now entered the program"  Rossi went on.

"Witness protection" Tara said
"He just sent in his resignation"

I look in shock. Derek just left, now hotch? No I don't want this.
"I know this is alot to process. "

"I mean ye . He's a great dad and this is an impossible job. And we know how much tragedy he's had. Does this mean we will never get to talk to him?" Penelope asked teary.

"We don't have a choice. It's not ideal  obviously. But as his friends we have to support his decision" Rossi spoke again.

"The only way for hotch to garenty Jack's safety is they both stay off the grid" em added.

"One more thing. Hotch spoke to the director as to who should replace him...don't worry it won't be me. Yk I'm allergic to paper work. But hotch his final request was that emily prentiss becomes the bau's new unit chief"

Everyone was really happy for em.
When we got a new case.
Everyone sat down but I stand still in shock.

"Garcia?"  Rossi asked.
I didn't respond. Hotch will never return? I will never see Jack again?
"Y/n?" Jj placed her hand on My shoulder .
I snapped out my thoughts but I felt teary.
I look up at emily.
"Im sorry...I'm really happy for you em. But I cant be on this case... not now. Not when we just lost another part of our family. I'm really sorry" I walk out the conference room and I take my bags.

I drove home in tears. I wanted to text hotch but knowing he's in the program he probably threw away his phone.
Derek just left. I just got used to have alvez on the team and now hotch is leaving?
I got home and took out my kit. I hid it away in the closet for save keeping.

I open it and take out the razor blade when I noticed a note:

Your not alone in this. Pls ask for help. Say our code word. I want to help you y/n...

The note said more kind things but I didn't want to be convinced. I just wanted to Hurt for a second.

I took the razor and dragged it through my skin. I missed this feeling.
I drag and drag until I start to feel light headed. I washed off the blood and wrapped up my thighs.
I got tired so I fell asleep.
I woke up about an hour later to my phone buzzing.

It was Spencer.

Spencer: y/n finnaly we have been calling you for the past hour.

Y/n: sorry I fell asleep.

Spencer: are you okay?

Y/n: ye I'm fine. I just hate that another member of the team. Of our family is leaving. Aaron is an amazing person and I get why he left. I'm 100% with him on that decision. But I just miss him and Jack. I hate that everything is changing all the time.

Spencer: I get what you mean...We are on the jet right now. Flying to delaware. We could really use your help.

Y/n: im sorry I just need to deal with this. Maybe tomorrow? Idk.

Spencer: emily wants to talk to you.

He gave the phone to her.
Em: are you okay?

Y/n: *laughs* Spence just asked me that. I'm fine em. I just need to process this.
Em: I know its a big change. And I know both you and penelope have a hard time with that.

Y/n: I don't have a hard time with change Itself. I have a hard time with people leaving. With Derek it wasn't that bad bc I can still text and call when I want to. I mean we just saw him yesterday. But with hotch... we won't ever see him. I can't text him. I just hate that he will be gone from out lives.

Em: I don't like it either.

Y/n: but hey you have a promotion now. Ig I'm dating my boss now?

Em: I haven't taken the job yet. There is alot to consider. Including the impact on our relationship.

Y/n: what ever impact it will have. I love you and we will figure it out.

Em: we could use your help with the case. Plus since we've been together we haven't slept apart. At least I dont think so. I don't know how to sleep without you.

Y/n: *sigh* I fell asleep a second ago. It was weird without you. I'll see if I can fly over tonight or tomorrow. But i can't promise I'll be much help.

Em: you don't have to fly over just for me. See how you feel okay.

The phone call ended.
I needed to eat something bc I felt light headed. I grabbed a granola bar and went back to sleep.
After 2 hours I drove back to the bau.