criminalminds x reader

chapter 5

I woke up next morning around 6. I opend my blinds

Ouch

The light hurts my eyes. I didnt realise but I've been in the dark this whole time.
I got really nervous about going back so soon. My mind was once again only thinking about one thing.

Cut

I ran to the bathroom took of my sweater and ran the blades on my upper arm this time. Then on my thighs. And again. I felt the rush and my nervous backed down. I care of my wounds and realised it was already 7 am.

Was I in there for an hour?

I got in my car and stopped at a gas station to buy a granola bar. I didnt want to pass out on my first day back. I ate the bar in my car. And scrolled on my phone for a bit. Putting all the messages on read.
I noticed I was still in my dirty joggings so I took a pants out my to go back and changed in the gas station bathroom.

I decide to text in the bau group chat.

Y/n: Hey guys I'm sorry I didn't respond on any messages. I just needed time to grief. But I'm feeling better now, so I decided to come in today. I'll see you guys in a sec.

I turned off my phone and drove into the bau parking lot.

I walked in the bureau, and hotch immediately asked me to come to his office.

"Pls take a seat"
So I did
" y/n are you sure you want to come back so soon. I can give you some more days off if you need it"

I don't want to come back, but if I don't I will never come back.

"Yes I'm sure. I needed a full week of. I know I closed myself of but I just needed to deal with this on my own. And right now I need this. This job makes me feel usefull and it gives stability. I need that"

This time I wasn't lying. Not completely.

" well oke, but if you change your mind let me know "

I started to walk out until hotch said
"Y/n of there is anything, you can talk to us oke"
I gave him a smile and walked out.
The team wasn't here yet, so I went to see if penelope was on her cave.

* knock knock*

"Come in"

"Hey p" I said shyly

"Y/n!" Penelope said as she quickly stood up from her chair.
She hugged me and said
" I was so worried!"

"I know im sorry"
She let go of me and start hitting my upper arm

Aaaw right on my cuts

" don't ever disappear like that again"
Tears form in my eye from the pain. I couldn't let it show.

I walked back to my desk and everyone greeted me. Spencer gave me my favourite latte. Rossi promised me some of his pasta. And emily brought donuts. Ow and wine but that's for after the hours.

" do we have a case today?" Jj asked hotch.
" eem no, its just paperwork today" hotch made piles of papers on everyone's desk

" paperwork my favourite" I said
Sarcastically.

Everyone knew my hate for paperwork so they all chucled. But today I didn't mind.

I drank up my coffee and slowly went through the paperwork. Bc of my iq I could read a bit faster then other. Not Spencer reid fast tho. Im not a genius either.

Your not smart at all. That number doesn't mean anything, you just rigd the test

"You oke y/n ?"
" yea this paperwork got me all tired"
I just responded

" ill get you another round of coffee. With some milk and 2 sugars right?" She asked
" yep same as you "

I decide to open the box of donuts. My stomach is growling and I don't want to be rude to Emily.

There were about 10 donuts.

No way in hell that I'm eating all that.

Em came back with that coffee quicker than I thought.

" oo yea I bought alot I didn't know which one you'd like so"

" I hope its oke I share some with the team then? Its really alot" I laughed

"Ofc ill take the first one" emily said
I shared to box with the whole time. There were 4 left.
I ate 2 and then got back to work.
I only have about 5 papers left to fill when hotch said.
" if you finished the papers, you can go home early. There is no reason why you would need to stay longer"

Everyone look at eachother and Derek said
" that sounds like music to my ears baby! Speaking of music anyone wanne go out tonight?"

" I'm in!" Emily said
" did I just hear to words 'going out' cause I'm in"  Penelope joined in
" we could do it at my place, I'll cook up some pasta de la rossi. I promised y/n some of my pasta earlier so"

"I'd love some" I responded.
I was exhausted but I really wanted a distraction.
" we are drinking right" i asked
" o yes we are or im not coming " Penelope said. We all laughed
Emily suggested the wine she bought for me and ofc rossi had his own wine collection.
Jj called will to let him know. And i offered Spencer a ride.

" well i guess i will be going then" Rossi said
" wait what how are you done so fast. The 2 geniusses are not even done" Derek asked

" I'm not a genius" I wisperd but nobody heard.

" I didnt have a lot of paperwork, i already did most last night. Soo cya at my house be there at 6pm"

Everyone said goodbye. About 10 minutes after Spencer was done. He waited for be since I will be driving him. He came by my desk and took another one of my Donuts. About 20 minutes later I was done too.

" You where faster this time, last time you finished 22 minutes and 44 seconds after me. Now it only took you 20 minutes and 31 seconds." Spencer said proudly.

" really? I counted 20 minutes 35 seconds" I said jokingly
While putting my jacket on

"Yes I counted- ow you where joking" Spencer said.
" heey you figured it out faster this time. About a whole minute" the rest of the team laughed with me. I put my arm over Spencers shoulder and walked up to the elevator with him.

I felt my sleeves rolling up so I took my arm down again.

Did he see?

Looks like he didn't. If he did it probably only looked like I had a white shirt underneath bc of the gaze I put on the wounds.

On my drive over to rossi I stopped at my apartment first. I still had Eva's electricity guitar and a box full of pictures in my trunk. I didnt want to keep driving around with it so we dropped it off. And then drove to rossi 's .
Nobody was there yet so rossi decided to teach me how to make his pasta.