criminalminds x reader

chapter 7

Tw sh

I woke up in tears. I had a dream about Eva. The dream was amazing, it just felt like she was ripped away from me again.
I look up at my clock and see 6:35.

I need to cut

I got in the shower
And dragged the blade over and over my arms. I ran out of space again and moved to my upper arms.
The sting of the water was a nice extra. When I was done I took a painkiller and chugged a glass of water for my pounding headache.
I made sure my cuts were nicely rapped up.

After that i got dressed. Some blue Jeans, a white button up with a  long brown leather jacket over and some brown boots. I put some fresh clothes in my To-go bag and put concealer on my under eyes so I look at least a bit representable. The concealer didn't help that much so I put on some brown sunglasses aswell.

Ugh my head

I took some extra pain killers in my bag and ate some yogurt with blueberrys.

At least its healthy

This is the first time I look a bit oke although I don't feel it.
7:15
Hotch hasn't texted yet so I guess I have some time.

I decided to do laundry. Haven't done it since Eva died. But well I wore the same clothes for a week so.
I picked up the sweater off the floor and saw all the blood on it

Shit did Spencer see?! He did didn't he
FUCK FUCKING FUCK

My heart started racing I could feel a panick attack coming up. I ran to my fridge and held ice cream to my face.
Spencer showed me this trick once.

After I calmed down the clock said 7:45.

I need to talk to Spencer.

I walk into the bureau at 8:03.

I can see everyone with their hands on their head growling in pain.

"Good-"
"No don't " emily interrupted me
" got you your coffee y/n " Spencer said.
" thank-"
"Wait y/n how do you look this fresh" Derek asked

" make up, and I dress up to pretend I'm not actually dying from my headache. Plus I took painkillers. Anyone want one?"
Everybody puts their hand out.

" Hey spence can I talk to you for a sec?"

Here we go

I took spencer aside before I started talking I took some sips of my coffee.

" so eem about the mess at my place-"
"Ow y/n you don't have to say anything. When meave died my place was even worse then yourse so its fine. You don't have to be embarrassed" he said as he patted my arm

Ouch
At least he didn't see the bloody sweater

"Ow oke"

" guys we have a case" hotch calls us in the conference room.
Emily, Derek, jj, tara and I growl in sync.
" ughhh"

We walk in the conference room and see penelope looking like she's in pain.
"Oof sis, you look-"
" how do you not look like I do! You look gorgeous!" She respond

Why is everyone cutting me off today.
Ha cutting

"Oke but you still don't have to shout" I said as I sat down
" yea that kinda hurt my own head. But you are just wow. How? You drank more then any of us"

"Maybe we should get to the case" hotch interrupted

Good cause I didn't want to explain how I'm a master of pretending

"Right. 2 bodies were recovered last week" Penelope shows the pictures.

" a week ago? Then why are we called in now" jj asked.

"Well my sweet jj, 2 more body were found last night. Both set off victims are husband and wife. And the both had a kid that's been missing"

"Wait the kid from the first couple, has been missing for more then a week?! In 40% of stereotypical kidnappings, the child was killed. And I dont want to tell you the statistics of us finding this child alive!"
I look over to jj, the look on her face. Child abductions always get to her.

" that's why we need to rush this case"
Hotch said

"I cant belief they didn't call us in sooner. Ugh!!" Jj said and I agree

" wheels up in 20. We will debrief further on the plane"