criminalminds x reader

chapter 18

Tw talk of sh

Y/n's pov:

I got in the car and I was pretty upset.
I decide to drive to the graveyard to visit Eva's grave. I haddent been there yet.

I walk a few minutes until i finnaly foud her grave.

"Hey baby. I saw you in my dreams again last night" I say as I sit down on the grass.
"I'm sorry I didn't come to visit yet. I really miss you" my voice starts to tremble
"I wish you didn't have to leave me everytime I see you. I wish you didn't leave me in the first place"
I started silence crying
"It's been really hard without you, and I dont know how to do it anymore. I don't think I want to do it anymore"

I talked to Eva for a few minutes.
When I got a phone call.

"Agent y/n garcia"
"Hi y/n it's doctor blakely. I just wanted to check in on you. The first session is always to hardest so I wanted to know how your feeling"

Welp I just told my dead girlfriend I don't wanne live anymore

"Ow thanks for checking In, but I'm fine" I didn't wanne tell her that I immediately sh after the session. So I just decided to be polite.

"So your still clean? It's oke if you did it. Taking the first step is the hardest. I don't execpt my patients to just stop what they are doing and never fall back into it. So I'm not going to be mad or anything."

Do I tell her

I do

"I'm sorry, I just needed to get it out of my system yk. Doing it one last time before I'm really going to try" I was kinda ashamed I admitted it

"Hey that's oke. Addiction is hard. I'm really glad you were honest with me.
I can help you the best when your honest with me. And don't hide things like this. I know opening up takes time so I'm really proud that you admitted that"
She kinda sounds like pen.

"I wanne ask you something "
"Ofc what is it"
"How far does doctor patient privacy thing go"
(I didn't know how the spell that other word)
"Everything is private. I'm not going to call your parents of you tell me you had hurt yourself. And from what you told me your friend already know. But if you call me and tell me you want to jump of a bridge, I'm obligated to call the police. So if you tell me that your suicidal, it still between us" She told me

"Well my parents are dead anyway so your going to have to scream it at the sky " I awkwardly laugh.
"Eem well thanks for checking in"

The call ends
"See bc of you I'm back in therapy " I said to Eva's grave.

~

Next morning

I get into work again. I really didn't want to come in but I'm scared that if I don't I won't ever get out of bed again.

Since the case was over I just did some paper work. I was bored out of my mind so I kinda did all of the teams paper work aswell

"Y/n? I didn't  know you were already here" Penelope said.
"Ye well I'm bored again so I kinda did the whole teams paper work for the next week"
"And you did that in what? 3 hours?"
She asked, I didn't feel like talking.

"Y/n you should know something about how the case ended" she went on
I just look at her
She took a chair and sat down next to me.
"What? Did they not have enough evidence?" I ask
"No no, the unsub is definitely going to rot in prison. But eem. Before the team brought the unsub to the station as a suspect. Well he kinda knew that you hacked in the company he worked at. So eem he knew we were on to him. And he immediately moved on to his end game"
I was shocked, bc I knew exactly what that last sentence ment.