criminalminds x reader

chapter 61

Tw talk of ed and sh and smoking Back on the jet.

Emily was sitting alone with her thinking face on.
"Let's go check on her" I say to the team.

Jj and Spencer follow behind me as I sit infront of her.
"Babe" I got her attention.
"Are you okay?"

She looks at all of us.
"Yea I...just glad we found those kids"
She responded.

"Yea me too. But eem we are talking about that other thing" jj said sitting on the arm stand of my seat.

"Well I haven't had to chance to talk to you guys. Especially you y/n What do you think ?"

"I think...that your an amazing girlfriend. Who cares and loves for everyone. I think your an even better profiler who understands and feels for people. And your a great leader. You have been with this team for years and no matter where go you. You always came back here."
I say with a smile.

"Ans i think that this team has been going through alot of changes and we always figure it out yk. Morgan left and now hotch..."
I look down when Spencer spoke.
"...but if you lead. It will be okay" he went on.
"I just think y/n and I need to talk to this more" em said

"Em...I love you and you deserve this job" I say to her.
"And don't they need an answer in the morning?" Jj asked.

"Okay here the truth. If you don't the the job they will bring in some random stranger. And I don't know how that will turn out but-"
Spencer got interrupted.

"It will probably stink for us but.. we are your friends and we support you. No matter what you decide." Jj said.

"And ill be your girlfriend no matter how bossy you will be" I say out laughing.
Emily smiles at us.

"I'm going to take it" she says.
We all cheer.
"Are you serious" Spencer asked.

"Ugh yes. I loves this team"
"O the 2 of us are celebrating tonight " I say with a winky face.

~
Back at the bau.

We were all in the bullpen when penelope walks out the conference room all serious.
"We need to talk" and she walks back in.
We all look at eachother.
"Eem didn't we already do that this morning?" I say confused.

We all drop our stuff and walk over.
We open the door.

"Suprise!!" Penelope had hung up balloons and was pouring champagne.
"News travels fast" emily said laughing.
"That was me sorry" I say as I take a glass of champagne.
"Good news does I'm so happy you took the job"

"Well I've got some big shoes to fill" em said.
"I'm not worried you are going to be one great and sexy unit chief " I say teasing.
"You cannot keep doing that to me" emily says pointing her finger in my face.

"What? My girlfriend is my boss now. Its kinda hot" I say biting in a strawberry.
Everyone was laughing

Rossi gave an amazing emotional family speech.

"So to Aaron and Jack. Idk how's luckier but it warms my heart that they'll be together everyday and safe"

I wipe away a tear.
"And to emily our friend and new unit chief"
"Cheers"

"Y/n are you crying?" Tara asked.
"O shut up" I say jokingly.
Rossi took me under his arm and hugged me.
"Your speeches are way to good"
I wipe my tears and drink champagne.

We celebrated and then em and I went to my apartment.

"Okay just give me like 20 minutes to get ready" I say exicted and run in the bedroom.

"Y/n I actually wanted to talk to you about something " em said from the other room as i pick out lingerie.

"Talking is something serious. You just got promoted so we need to celebrate. And what better way to celebrate then with awesome sex"

I take a picture of red lingerie and my black set and sent it to penelope.

Y/n: red or black?
Sis😻: ooo definitely red. Have fun celebrating ;)

I take the red and run in the bathroom. When I took my clothes of I saw the bandages around me leg from this morning. Em will be so disappointed.

I put my normal clothes back and and put the lingerie away.
"Okay maybe your right let's talk" I say walking out to the living room.
"What made you change your mind?" Em asked.

"Just tired. If i knew this case was going to be solved in a day I would have stayed home" I say laughing.
I jump on the couch next to emily.

"So what do you want to talk about?" I asked her as I pull a blanket over me.

"Yk what let's order some food first. We both haven't had dinner yet"
I didn't want to have dinner.

"Em it's past midnight already. In a few hours it's breakfast" I say so I wouldn't have to eat.
My stomach was moving around but I kinda got used to the hunger.

"I'm just hungry. Let's go to a gas station or something. I'm sure they have a few things"
Em got up and grabbed her keys.
Something about this felt off but I couldn't refuse.
We drove out to a gas station.
Emily got a pie and I got a hot sandwich. She paid and went to walk out.

"I'll be back in a second" I say to her.
I ask the man behind the counter for a pack of cigarettes.
I haven't smoked in years. I used to smoke sometimes in high-school, never got addicted I just liked the feeling.
I read online that it could help with my sh urges. And just calm down my brain.
I also buy a lighter and take the back entrance. I lean against the station and light my first cigarette.

I cough at the first inhalation. The second felt better. I smoke it up and walk back to the car.

Em was eating the pie.
"Eating in the car are we?"
I say to her as I walk in.
"It's my car and yes"
She hands my sandwich over.

I take a few bites and the hunger takes over. I long for more ans eat the whole sandwich.
"Wants some pie?" Emily asked.
I didn't but it looked so good and I was still so hungry. I took a bite and ask
"Em what was it you wanted to talk about "  she puts the pie away.

"This I wanted to talk about this"
I looked confused at her.
"What do you mean?"
She had tears in her eyes.
"You've been losing weight y/n"

Shit

"Your not doing well"
I turn around and look through the window.
"I'm not starving myself. I litterly just ate" I say to her.

"You only do it to cover yourself. Your slowly killing yourself"
"Maybe that's the point! Maybe I don't want to be me!" I storm out the car emily follows me.

"Maybe i rather be like jj! Just everytime I look I'm the mirror I want to smash it to pieces! I never liked how I looked! I tried everything! Every diet every way of hiding my stomach and thighs! But nothing helps!"
Both emily and I had tears in our eyes.

I start walking away.
"Where are you going y/n we need to talk about this" emily screamed after me.
"I'm sleeping somewhere els"

I start running away.
After walking for an hour I reach the bau. Nobody was there since it was 2 in the morning. I go to Derek's old office. And decided to sleep om the couch.