criminalminds x reader

chapter 67

I held in my tears. We arrived back the bau the close off the case. Gabriel reunited with his father. And I was still walking on 1 shoe.
"Hey p do you have an extra pair?"
I ask her since we have the same shoe size.
"I think I only have heels. But might have some sneakers in my car. What happend to yours"
Penelope asked.
"It kind of got impaled. Just like we almost did" Penelope looked at me shocked.
"Yk what it doesn't matter em is driving anyway" I say to her.
"You feeling up for a drink?" Penelope asked.

"Eem could we do it tomorrow?"
I ask her.
"Sure" she does look a bit disappointed.
I waited on em. I put on my headphones still holding in my tears.
I saw emily walking out her office with rossi and I walk over to the elevator holding it open form them.

Emily noticed I was upset and held my hand. I still had my headphones on. The elevator moved down to the garage.
"Goodbye kidos" Rossi said
It was passed lunch but this really worn me out. I stept in the cat and took of the shoe and threw it in the garbage. I'm nothing with 1 sneaker.
"I guess I need to buy new once" I say when i close to the door and take of my headphones.

Em took my hand and looked sympathetic at me.
"It's okay. We're alone now you don't have to pretend"
My chin was shaking
As a tear escaped my eye.
"You can let it out"

I fully break down emily gave me the space I needed. She held my hand so I knew she was there but allowed me the scream and kick and do whatever I needed .
"I-I I was so scared. I was scared for you! For everyone!" I scream and cry.
"My heart litterly dropped until I heard your voice. I never felt like that. My heart is fully open for you and its so scary"
"I know" emily responded. I turn my head away from her and cry even harder.

"For once in months I was not just scared for you but...I was also scared for my own life. I- I want to live. I finnaly want to live. But its scary. And I hate being scared"

I punch the inside of the car.
"I'm glad you finally want to live. And I know how scary that can be. Especially with this job. But I am right with you. Eventho I hate to admit it, I'm scared to"
I turn to her and breath.
"Thank you" I say as I wipe my tears.
"Let's go home" she smiles at me. And starts the car.

We drove to my apartment, I grab my guitar and sit down in the shower.
My anxiety was high so I decided to play a song. My therapist said I should listen to 'less sad' music when I'm feeling down. And just listen to preppy music to heighten my mood.

I play the first sting and then decide on a song.
(Someday from onerepublic )

Some days I'm treading the water and feel like it's getting deep

Some nights I drown in the weight of the things that I think I need

Sometimes, I feel incomplete, yeah
But you always say to me, say to me

Oh, you say someday when we're older

We'll be shinin' like we're gold, yeah, won't we? (Won't we?)
Won't we? (Won't we?)

And someday when we're older
I'll be yours, and you'll be mine, babe, happy (happy)
Happy

Oh, you say someday when we're older
We won't worry 'bout the things that we don't need
We don't need

Yeah, one day down the line before we both run out of time

You're gonna see
That someday we'll be all that we need

Someday we'll be all that we need
I've been the best, been the worst
Been a ghost in a crowded room (oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah)