ALWAYS BEEN THERE: A Lloyd Hansen Story

chapter eleven

"Come on. Inside Cammie."

"Stop- saying that." I cried. He set his hand on my waist before scooping me up again. No no.

I was crying so hard that I couldn't stop him. I rested my head on his chest as he brought be in. I missed his warmth so much. He had grown up to be such a god. He smelled so good.

"Lloyd- put me..down." I said between sobs.

"Shut the fuck up Camille. I knew you're having an anxiety attack. I was your best friend for twelve years."

Was. That was a knife to the heart. One word.

He sat down on the couch with me still on him. He slipped my shoes and jacket off before going upstairs to my room with me.

He laid me down on the bed, grabbing me pajamas. "Sleep. You're worked up."

I looked down at my hands, saying nothing. My tears silently fell. So fast to where I couldn't see.

"Camille. Change and go to sleep." He said.

"I will." I whispered groggily.

Lloyd came over and grabbed my shirt, taking it off. I winced. He put an oversized long sleeve on me before going down to my pants. I was too exhausted to care. He slipped some pajama pants on me before going behind me to put my hair up, and then grabbing my makeup wipes to take my smudged makeup off.

Four years later and he still knew me.

He was close to me after he finished, looking in my eyes.

"Do you need anything?" He asked.

"Why did you do it?"

I had never gotten the courage to ask. So I guess I would now.

"I don't know. All I know is it was the worst mistake of my life." He whispered. "I lost the one person that made me happy. I don't know why the bell I did it. I was just mad and the whole jail time then seeing you still sick made me even more mad. I was mad about something that happened to you so I took it out on you. It made no sense."

"Okay." I whispered. Don't cry again.

"And I never got to tell you that I was sorry because I was stuck in my ego. But Camille every single night, walking past your room here. I stop and wonder if I should come in and apologize to you because you deserve it. I was so low to you, and yet I was even lower. You gave me your life. Every second of it and I brushed it away and I'm so..sorry."

He knew how much I did for him. He knows how much I love him.

"I'm still in love with you. And I am sorry to say that but I have to." I whispered.

"I know. I love you too. And I'm sorry for pissing you off with all the girls and being partners but I was trying to find a way to get over you..."

I sighed and looked away. I felt guilty for telling him. I should've just let him go. Why am I putting myself through this again?

"And I just had to have you know before I move out in two weeks."

I looked at him. "What?"

"I'm not mad about my job. I've had something in the works for two months, so I'm moving to Croatia."

"Why?"

"Because my secrets out Camille. I've tried to hide this side of me for years upon years. But now that it's out, I might as well use it."

"But-"

He looked at me as he stood up. "You could come with. I know you have that same spark that I do. It's the same as cia, just dirty work. You have the brains for it."

"That's really far.. I mean Suz and Denny."

"Oh please. Denny knew we were getting fired and is killing chief for his spot as we speak. It's all part of the plan. You can take part of it too. Or you can stay here in s boring life which I know you do not want to do."

There was a switch inside him I swear.

"You're sure I'll be okay?" I whispered.

"Cam I'll marry you. If you have my name in this thing I promise you will be safe."

I moved my loose pieces of hair from my ponytail behind my ears.

"Can you give me a night to sleep on it?" I asked softly. His face softened. He nodded.

"Do you wanna come to my room and watch a movie?" He asked.

Breath of fresh air.

"Yeah."

He helped me up. I knew I was still tear stained.

We went to his bedroom. I sat on his bed.

All of the girls he's brought in here scared me.

I timidly sat against the headboard as he changed. I looked over. He got tattoos.

"You got tattoos." I whispered. He looked down.

"Yeah. Yes I did."

"I like them." I said as I played with my hands.

"Thank you." He said and smirked. Bed still grossed me out.

Lloyd got under the covers then looked at me. "I wash the sheets Cammie."

I nodded and got under them with him.

"Besides. None of them were as good as you were."

I didn't look at him. I was blushing too hard.

Lloyd turned on a movie and pulled me in. I timidly set my head on his shoulder.

"You all good?" He asked. I nodded.

I think I was gonna be for tonight.