ALWAYS BEEN THERE: A Lloyd Hansen Story

chapter twenty-eight

I got suzanne settled. Lloyd was taking a shower.

I walked into the bathroom and sat on the counter, waiting for him to get out. A few minutes later and he got out, grabbing his towel and wrapping it around himself. I looked up at him.

"What's wrong?"

He sighed and moved towards me, pulling me into a hug. I didn't care if he was all wet. I just hugged him back.

My hand went into his wet hair as he hugged me close.

"That's the first time in over nine months and you weren't enjoying it. Is there something wrong with me?" He whispered. "I'm being genuine."

I pulled him away and touched his cheek.

"No. Oh my god no. Lloyd..."

He sighed. "I know I sound like such a bitch for being mad about everything like this..I just- it's my time with you and it's stupid I know but I just like having you to myself even for ten minutes. No job, no son, no friends, no family, no drama. It's just us and you love me for just ten minutes."

I had never seen him so frustrated only for the fact that he was so quiet. His tone was so tender.

I stared at him as he looked away. My hand went to his chin to make him look at me.

"I will always love you. Whether or not you're making love to me. I promise. And I didn't want to stop. I just felt weird. Doesn't mean I'm gonna want to stop."

"You didn't want to stop today. But what if I kept going another day and I hurt you? Then what?"

I sighed and pulled him into a kiss. He melted immediately.

"Lloyd I love you so much. I've always loved you. There isn't a moment where I stopped. I promise you that. I want to have sex. I want to do those things with you because as weird as they can be, it's enjoyable with you."

He nodded. He rested his head on my shoulder again and sighed. I kissed his cheek.

"Well I'm tired and now feeling guilty so I think I need sleep."

"Fuck me like you mean it this time lloyd." I said. He stared at me.

"Are you serious?"

"Right here, I want you to fuck me so that you can cum because you haven't tonight, and then I want you to come to bed and just relax. You're worked up over nothing."

"It is not nothing. I just can't risk breaking you."

"Dude I had a kid."

"Mentally Camille. I've been worried about you ever since you explained what's been going on."

I sighed. "I'm okay."

"But you're not and you still have your wall up."

I nodded. "And I'm telling you I'm alright. I promise."

He sighed and grabbed my hands. I smiled at him.

"Pinky promise."

"Cammie..."

"Lloyd. I've just got to keep the guard up or I'm gonna go through an episode. But you are doing everything right I promise. I love you and only you. I'm happy you're here. I'm happy you're trying so hard with me. I love you. Okay?"

He nodded and kissed my cheek. "Can I get you anything? I'm gonna grab a brandy."

I shook my head and got off. As I did, he pulled me into another kiss. I held his arms to keep balance.