ALWAYS BEEN THERE: A Lloyd Hansen Story

chapter forty-one

It was early in the morning as I had Maeve in my lap, breastfeeding. I had a little cover over me as we sat on the porch. It was very peaceful.

I truly loved it here. I was so at peace.

Lloyd came out of our room, smiling at me.

"Hi." I said. He sat down next to me, yawning. He still was in his pajamas with messy hair.

"Hey." He whispered as he sat down next to me. I gave him a small kiss.

"How's maevie?"

"She's good." I whispered. He smirked.

"Hey. Can I talk to you?" He asked. I nodded and moved Maeve once she was done, pulling up my shirt and moving the cover off. I sat Maeve up. Lloyd took her with a little baby towel and hugged her close.

"So...god I hate saying this."

I looked over at him. He gave me a small look.

"Lloyd..."

"I love you dearly and you know that. I always have loved you and I always will."

"Spit it out." I whispered.

He looked out at the water. "I uhh....there's no easy way to say it."

"Lloyd. Please tell me."

He gave me a soft stare before looking back at the water. "I'd like to move back to the states. I know it sucks and I'm sorry."

"Why?" I asked.

"I got a call from my dad the other day, which is random and not great. My mom is dying and my siblings are already there to say their goodbyes. They don't know if it's a few weeks or a few years. My dad isn't doing well. And I mean, I have Brittney in New York and she's my kid too. It would be nice to visit her more."

I nodded. "So New York?"

"I'm hoping more Massachusetts. And denny wants to buy the government service. We've been talking and he would buy me out and change the name. We would cut ties and our kids would grow up without any fear. Or you know, we could start something new in the states. I just...I want to hear your thoughts. I know you hated moving here and you have said you missed the states."

"I mean I said that like ten years ago." I whispered. He nodded.

"Talk to me. Give me opinions."

I looked at Maeve in his arms. She could live a normal life. I mean of course we would send her to a nice school as well as max. Hansen wouldn't be a name to fear.

"You've never really...cared about your parents. No offense. But why now?"

"I don't know. Hearing my dad who is usually such a dick actually crying on the phone broke my heart. My sister wants me there, and my brother isn't doing well with it either."

He stared at me. I nodded softly.

"I'm gonna miss this place."

"So you'll go?"

"Honey id follow you anywhere. You're my husband."

"But you're allowed to have an opinion."

"My opinion is that I need to follow you."

"Tell me Cam."

"I just...I finally started getting used to this place is all. But I'll get used to being back home again. Or..yeah. I mean it's okay."

"Okay." He whispered.

My mom and I still talked and she FaceTimed the kids often. She hadn't met them much, but with my four other siblings, and me being the youngest, she had other things to keep herself company with.

"I love you." He whispered. I smirked.

"I love you too."

I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking about leaving this place. I didn't really want to. And knowing Lloyd, he can't keep himself out of any trouble, so we will definitely end up being in some sort of mafia scandal.

But Lloyd was thirty eight. We were getting up there. He didn't look thirty eight though.

Unimportant.

"I know you're thinking. Tell me if you're pissed."

"I'm not gonna tell you that. I know this is important."

"So you're pissed?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for being honest." He said. "I love you. I promise I'll make this process very much not stressful. I'm so sorry for always dragging you everywhere."

"That's part of marriage."

"No babe. You have your own opinion."

I nodded and looked away. Lloyd moved to pull me in. I pulled myself closer to him.

I set my head on his shoulder and just took a deep breath.

"It's okay if you're mad at me." He whispered.

"I'm not mad at you. Just..just frustrated with everything."

"Okay."

I looked at him as he moved my head up. He pulled me into a soft kiss. I sighed and kissed him back.

He pulled away after a few seconds. I sighed and got up, wiping my eyes which were already hot and stinging from tears.

"Camille..."

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I wiped my tears.

"Don't be sorry. It's okay." He whispered. He knew I needed space.

I nodded and went inside. As I did, max was coming in. I wiped my tears.

"Hi baby!" I said as I picked him up. Mask on. Lloyd came in and sighed.

"Good morning handsome." Lloyd said as he came over. He came behind me. Maeve was still in his arms. I leaned my back into his front. He kissed my head.

I couldn't stay mad. I just needed his warmth.

Max rested his head on my shoulder. Lloyd moved to whisper in my ear.

"I love you. I'm here for you, no matter what."

I nodded. He kissed my temple, resting there for a moment before backing away.

I felt cold all of a sudden. Lloyd sensed it and moved back. Max looked up at his dad.

"Good morning." He said. Lloyd smiled.

"Let's watch some cartoons." Lloyd said. He led max and I to bed. I got in, and let max lay between my legs. Lloyd set Maeve on his lap before pulling me in. I leaned into him.

Just this moment. Just breathe.