We Can Make It (Austin Mahone)

Still Hurting

Austin's P.O.V.

It's been 1 week sense she left. I haven't left my house sense. I only really stay in the guess room all day. I haven't seen anyone sense too. I have rejected every visit. I don't feel like talking to anyone. My friends tried to come over, but I didn't really want to see anyone. The only person that I let in is my mom. At some points she'll come in and watch a movie with me. All I pretty much do is sleep. When I'm sleeping I don't feel anything. No hurt, no pain, no loneliness. You could say I'm walking through a desert waiting for my day of death to come.

I woke with my eyes hurting and my head pounding, like always I fell asleep crying. I didn't do much this morning. Rocco had cleared my schedule for the whole week. I didn't know if the team knew about what happened, but I wanted to be alone. Although I woke up with my head killing me, I felt a little better today. I was laying in bed watching Netflix, just like the past few days.

"Knock knock" I hear my mother say as she is about to come in

I give her a weak smile

"Can I come in?" she asked

I nod

I haven't really talked much. I nod for yes or I shake my head for no. I have let a few words out but not more then once a day. My mom doesn't ask me to talk either. That's probably why she's the only one I let in, in a way I feel like she gets how I want to deal with this. She just sit with me and watches movies. At points she will catch my crying and hugs me. She'll stay in bed hugging me until I'm fast asleep. She's been the most understanding person about this.

"So I was thinking that maybe we could try something different today" my mom said sitting on the edge of the bed.

I gave her confused look.

"I don't want you locked up here anymore. I think we should go out and get something to eat. Or we could do something else, as long as you leave this house" she said

"I d-don't want to leave" I said, my voice cracking because I haven't used it much

"Austin I don't think it's good tha-" She said but I cut her off

"I have been thinking about it too. I can't be drowning in sadness all day, it's hurting me more. I feel a lot better today, so I thought I could get up and fix myself today. I will leave this room but I won't leave the house. I'm not ready for that yet, I ask that you understand. I'm going to go hoop for a little bit" I said getting off the bed

"I do understand. It doesn't matter if you leave the house or not. Just as long as you get up and take your mind off of things" she said

"I'm going to shower, do you mind bring me some clothes?" I ask her

"Sure. You go shower" she said getting off the bed

"Thanks mom. Thanks for everything" I said smiling at her

She gave me a big smile, and for once I felt my heart warm up

Once I was out of the shower my clothes were set on the bed of the guest room. I quickly got dressed and headed out the room. As I was walking I saw ahead the door to my room. The one thing I have been avoiding. I reached the stairs but before I headed down, I took one last look at the door. For some odd reason it really hurt to look at it. It's as if that room contained too many memories. I shook it off and made my way to the backyard. Everything was already set up for me to start. I picked up a ball and began to shoot. Every shot I made, I missed. I could not get the ball to go in. I began to get frustrated. Shot after shot after shot, not one did I make it in.

"Calm down little one" My mom said walking my way

"Sorry. I just think I have been in bed too much, I can't seem to make it in" I said