Only you (Book 4)

Shitty night

Narrator POV

The silence around Nora never felt so heavy. She heard Lizzie's car drive off and out of her impulsive mind she threw her crutches to the side making a vase fall and crumble. Shattered.

The colorful glass is scattered across the floor just as much as her heart is. She let herself fall back into her bed that Didn't feel so empty not even minutes ago.

„Fuck!" she mumbled to herself as she laid there covering her face with a pillow. To be specific the pillow that smelled like Lizzie. Nora couldn't help but to scream into it and it thankfully dimmed her noises but she couldn't do it for long. This triggered a memory that happened recently.

She threw the pillow to the side and scrambled herself up to lean against the bed frame. Her hands started to move around her neck and chest as she felt how a panic attack started to build up. The lose shirt around her neck started to feel heavy and tight. The silence was dragging her mind into a spiral and her short breaths start to make her feel lightheaded.

„Why did you push this fucking pillow onto your face Nora?" Was what she asked herself as she started to remember how Robbie pressed that pillow onto her until her conciseness started to drift away.

Her panic didn't settle. Her mind was playing games with her body and her reactions show that she is massively triggered. On top of that she is angry, confused and sad about what just happened between her and Lizzie.

She looked to her left to see her phone on the small nightstand. She placed her hand on it wanting to dial Lizzie's number so bad. But she held herself back. As if she froze. She stopped what she wanted to do and she started to hear light footsteps.

Hoping this was Lizzie. Maybe she forgot something? Or maybe she wanted to clear things up. But it wasn't her. It was chestnut whining as she sees the mess and how drained Nora is.

„Come here my love." a small hand movement was everything Nora could do and chestnut jumped up into her bed to lay down next to her.
Nora pulled her hand away from the phone and looked at chestnut with tears in her eyes.

She didn't stop whining and those puppy eyes distracted Nora from all the things that tore her down.

„Your eyes are still the same. The same as when you were a baby puppy. Who am I kidding you're still my baby." Nora laid down next to her and chestnut laid her head on her chest.

„I love you and I missed you soooo much." Nora whispered and chestnut licked her face which made Nora even laugh for a short moment.

Time passed and Nora kept on looking at chestnut. She kept on stroking her and her warmth reminded her of a loving hug which she misses in general. She pulled the blanket up to cover herself and chestnut and she finally started to drift off to sleep as well after hours.

Nora POV

The sun blinded me and I started to wake up slowly. I looked to me right and saw chestnut looking at me and waiting patiently for me to wake up. I scratched her head how she loves it the most and after some minutes I I looked for my phone and glasses to see what time it is.

5.22 am. Fucking hell I didn't get a lot of sleep. Nearly three hours. But I can't go back to sleep I need to get ready go bring the kids to school.

„Chestnut love come on please get me my crutches." I told her as I pointed to the crutches that Laid on the other side of the room.
She went to grab one and ran back to hand it over to me. I got out of bed and got up and as soon as I did chestnut was already standing in front of me with the other crutch. She wiggled with her tail and I tilted my head to the door signing her that she can run down.

I didn't bother to change into something presentable today. It's not that I need to be anywhere. I put on my slippers and instead of walking down the stairs with those crutches I decided to slide them down like the kids love to do.

I was on the first floor and walked into Quinn's room to open up his curtains so he'd start to wake up. He whined and I poked his body with one of my crutches.

„Wake up buddy it's time for school I want you ready in 30 minutes." I told him as I walked out to go to Chase now.

„Wake up honey. The sun is shining and the birds are singing. It is time for school." I told her as I opened the curtains as well. She was whining as well but she got up within seconds not like her brother.

„Where's mama? I thought she would wake us up? Shouldn't you be resting?" I stopped in the doorway as I heard her ask for Lizzie. My heart aches already because I need go tell them that she won't be around anymore and that they should probably stop calling her mama.

„Mom had enough rest and that for three fucking months. Get up and get ready I want you downstairs in 30 minutes."

„You need to put a dollar into the cursing jaw."
Chase told me and I smiled faintly not wanting her to see how fucked up i feel.

„I will. Now get up honey." I told her again and she started to get up. I went down and wanted to prepare their lunch boxes but as I opened the fridge I saw two boxes that were already prepared.
Lizzie probably prepared them a day earlier so that they would all Safe time in the morning.

I let out a sigh and took them out the fridge. I put for each one of them an apple on top and sat down on the kitchen stroll. As I put the crutches aside I realized that I can't drive them to school today. „Fucking hell." I whispered as I rubbed my eyes in tiredness.

I dialed a number on my phone and waited for her to pick up. „Hey I know it's early but could you maybe pick Chase and Quinn up to bring them to school? I can't really drive." I asked as the phone call got picked up.

„Isn't Lizzie gonna drive them?" Beth asked and I let out a deep breath.

„No. I'll tell you later can you just come and pick them up?" I asked sounding annoyed already and it's not even six am.

„Okay, yeah of course. I'll be there in no time."

„Good You're a life saver thank you!" I thanked her.

„Of course. Is everything okay?" she diggs a bit further and I held myself calm for now.

„I don't wanna talk about it on the phone. I'll tell you later." I told her and I started to hear my kids come down so I hung up out of reflex.

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