Only you (Book 4)

Bedtime

Lizzie POV

„Mom won't come home right?" I heard Chase behind me as I was getting ready for bed. I turned around and saw Quinn standing next to her while holding hands.

„Wanna sleep on this big bed tonight? I have empty space that needs to be filled." I offered them not giving them an answer yet to the question Chase just asked me.
Without saying a word they climbed up onto the bed to get under the blankets.

„I don't have a bed time story book here upstairs but I can still tell you one of you want."
I added as I took my socks off. After I tossed them aside I climbed in too so I'd join them in the middle.

Chase on my right and Quinn on my left.
„Why does mom always have to leave us? Did we do something wrong?" Quinn asked as he looked out the window where the trees were moving because of the wind.

„Oh god no. You both did absolutely nothing wrong love. Before mom had you both she was involved with a terrible person. He wasn't nice to mom at all."

„Why didn't she leave him?" Chase asked and I turned to her.

„Sometimes you are bound to be with one even if you don't want to and even if it doesn't fit. That's life."

„And what does that have to do with mom leaving?" Quinn added.

„Remember when mom was in the hospital because she got badly injured? It was because of that man... and she hurt him too. And because of that she needs to be on.. let's just say on time out."

„Time out? Like when mom sends us into our room when we did a bad thing?" Chase asked.

„Hmm yeah kinda like that."

„Then why isn't she on time out in her room?"
She added irritated.

„Well the government has a place for that where everyone is on time out when they did a bad thing."

„MOM IS IN JAIL?" they asked me loudly together.

„W-well. For now yes. But mom doesn't deserve to be in there and our lawyer works on getting her out as fast as possible."

„But why did they put her in there when she doesn't deserve it?" Quinn asked.

„Sometimes life isn't fair, life hasn't been fair to mom for a really really long time."

„I want mommy back. Mama. I want mom." Chase mumbled while rubbing her hand in front of her eyes to keep the tears from falling and this was my last straw. Now that I see how Chase cry's over not having her mom here, it hit me as well.

I began to cry silently too and it didn't last long until Quinn cried too. I pulled my arms around them to pull them in for a hug they needed. But I needed that hug as well.

„Mom will be alright. I promise." I told them which was most definitely a lie. I don't know if she is alright and I don't know if she will be alright. But kids need to hear a lie sometimes. Who am I kidding I need to believe in that lie too for the sake of my own. Because the hope that lasts is the only thing that is keeping me sane.

„Why didn't mom tell us?" Chase asked in between the sobs. It physically pains me to hear these little sunflowers cry their heart out because they miss her... but so do I. I never stopped missing her. Even when she was right next to me inches away.

„I don't know Love. Maybe she doesn't want you both to worry. Mom is a tough one we all know that."

„Is mom a criminal now?" Quinn asked as he sniffed his nose.

„No. She isn't for us. Other people might think so.  But she just protected herself and me as well."
I told them and they leaned in on me snuggling their heads into my lower body.

They kept on crying for a bit until they became so tired that they fell asleep on me. I moved Quinn aside so he'd be able to lay down on the mattress instead of me. After that I turned to Chase and took off her glasses to fold them together and place them aside.

„You won't leave us mama. Right?" Chase mumbled half asleep and I shook my head after I laid the glasses aside.

„Never sweetheart." I whispered and she snuggled her head into the pillow.

It pains me to think that she believes that I will leave too. That she was reassuring herself of my stay. But I will never ever leave them behind. I did it once and I regret it the most.

Nora never left them willingly. She was always forced to be separated from them. But she will never be pulled away from me again after we get her out of prison.

We both had a rough time, life hit her way harder than me and there is nothing more I want than to take her pain away and pull her out of this hole she has been in for so long.

...