Only you (Book 4)

Memory linen's

Narrator POV

!!Trigger warning!!

„She will be pissed when she finds that out." Nora stated as she rubbed her forehead to get rid of the tension that has been starting to build up.

„Yeah. Pissed, hurt, sad, angry you name it. I would honestly understand that because you've decide shit things for the both of you."

„Still I thought it was the best for her. I would be out of the frame and she had her husband anyway."

„Nora you need to understand that you don't get to decide what's best for her. She's not your child. She should have made a decision with you. It's not that you even gave here a chance to know what was going on." she funneled it into Nora and all she could really do was just to feel like shit but she still would have decided this way if she would know that Lizzie would be safe and out of the frame.

„So what you've been describing was a manipulation to creat fear. That is already a felony.
Manipulation or even the attempt to manipulate is a felony."

„Yeah he's been manipulative ever since that day. He didn't stop. Things just became worse."

„Speaking of worse. You've mentioned that he became physically abusive. If you fell okay with telling me would you describe what he did and how often it happened? We can skip that part if you want to and go back on it later. If your not ready that's totally fine."

„No. it's okay." Nora told her calmly.

„I was physically abused because I didn't want to have sex with him. He forced me. Multiple times.
He made me go through it whenever he wanted to. Which was quite often and I think he partly did it just to degrade me. To show me that he won this game and that he can do with me whatever he wants. At some point I was so depressed and broken that I didn't even want to leave my old apartment. I was in that hole and that was really the first time that I couldn't get myself out of it on my own. But I also didn't want to ask for help. Because first I knew he'd manipulate me with Lizzie again and second off I felt so terrible that I didn't want anyone to see me the way I was."
Tears fell down and a little puddle of tears formed on the kitchen island beneath Nora. She didn't cry loud. Those tears just fell silently as she spoke to Ruby about and this was actually the second person to find this out.

Beth knew it because she was the one who helped her out to fake her death because of this because both didn't see any other option. They both planned it and it worked out.

But Nora doesn't know if she wants to tell Lizzie.
She doesn't even want to talk about it with Ruby but she has to or else she wouldn't be able to help.

„I didn't want to have the pitiful faces looks at me exactly the way you do now. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror for so long. It took me years.
I still struggle some days. Just as everyone has good and bad days. The feeling comes and goes. I had to deal with that during and after my pregnancy and I had Beth with me but that wasn't enough. We both knew that. I went to therapy and she helped me a lot. I wouldn't be able to sit here and talk about it without having a mental breakdown. My therapist told me it is good to cry about it because that shows that I can still feel. She said that it would be way harder to deal with it if I wouldn't be able to cry."

„I am so sorry for what you had and have to through. I would have chopped his balls off if he would still live." that made Nora chuckle for a moment and she was able to take it a bit lighter.

„Yeah. How I wish I would have done that too."

„So what you can write down is that he was hitting me whenever he didn't get what he wanted. Sometimes he came to my place when he was drunk and he would just destroy things for no reason. Throw plates and glass cups to the wall behind me. I had always some bruises on my body. Rather it was a sex bruise or just punching bruise. There was no day were I wasn't feeling pain."

„I know this is heavy for you and if you want to stop at any moment please don't hesitate to tell me."

„It's okay. I mean it's not okay with what had happened but I can't change it. I can just try to live with it."

„Is Beth the only one who knows?" she added that question after some silence.

„Yes. Her and you now."

„You don't want the others to know? Especially Lizzie?" she inquired and Nora shook her head.

„I know I'll have to Lizzie at least at some point but I wanna mind that conversation for as long as I can."

„Okay I get it. But the love from others might help you more with coping."

„Yeah it might."

„So. How did you get to fake your death?" she asked now trying to lead the topic into another direction.

„Beth helped me. She had a friend who owed her something and he was able to create any governmental paperwork that existed. He mad me a new identity and we searched for a hidden house somewhere and that somewhere was here. Surrounded by a forest. I left everything in my apartment behind because I knew that it would have been suspicious if the apartment would have been missing some things. I didn't move out I wanted it to look like suicide. But there was a big problem."

„To make it seem like there is no body to be found." Nora snipped her finger in agreement.

„Correct. An empty coffin would only be possible If there wouldn't be a body."

„and how?"

„ I drove myself into the ocean."