Only you (Book 4)

She will always be your mama!

Nora POV

Scar helped me out so far and that in many ways. After she left I decided to go upstairs to check on both of my kids. Quinn fell asleep early as per usual and now I had to go and check on Chase as well.

I know she probably doesn't want to see me but that won't change the fact that I will always check up on her. I don't know what secrets she has with Lizzie and maybe I am not supposed to find out but I am kinda glad that Chase was able to open up a bond with someone else. Not gonna lie it hurts as well knowing that she doesn't want to talk to me but at least she would talk to Lizzie.

If she would be here... which isn't the case.

„Can I come in honey?" I asked as I knocked on the open door. She laid in bed already and je expression fell as she realized that I was standing in the door frame and not Lizzie. She hopes for a miracle.

„I don't wanna talk mom."

„I know. I am not trying to. I don't wanna push you or convince you to open up if you don't want to.
I just wanted to check on you."

„Will Lizzie ever come back?" she asked me sadly as I realized that she stopped calling her mama which breaks me.

„I don't know honey. I am sorry." I told her as I took her hand in mine to squeeze it a bit.

„Is it my fault? Or is it Quinn's fault?"

„Oh god honey it's not your fault at all and neither Quinn's."

„So it's your fault cause it can't be Chestnuts fault. She's a dog." she answered and It breaks me that I agree on that.

„Honey there is something I want you to know. So that maybe you can understand me better."
I told her to prepare her for what comes next.

„Sometimes people forget things right? Everyone has those moments."

„Like when Chestnut forgets where she buried her bones?"

„Exactly like that." I answered with a soft smile.

„And this happened to me after I woke up from that coma. I didn't know about the past memories I shared with Lizzie. So..."

„This really really hurt her. That I can't remember her and sometimes people get hurt so much that they can't be around each other anymore."

„So... what does that mean for us?"
She asked me confused and I shrugged my shoulders.

„Don't worry about what will happen with me. I'll be fine. For you and Quinn things will stay the same. Lizzie will always be your mama. If you wanna keep it this way. Maybe with time she will come and visit you or I will drop your both off at her place." wow i really sound like someone who is explaining a divorce for their child even though I wasn't even together with Lizzie.

„Won't you be mad because we call her mama too?" she asked as she played with the ears of her plushy bunny.

„I won't. I promise. I am your mommy and she is your mama. I will always be your mom and she will always be your mama. She has no fault in why things went this way. It was all me."
I took the blame upon me because I didn't want to put Lizzie into a bad light in front of Chase.
I think she admired Lizzie so much from what I can tell. Even if Lizzie said some fucked up shit I don't want her to know. She already might think bad of her because she left so I don't wanna put more negativity onto her.

I can take the blame. I can accept the fact that Chase might be mad at me for not remembering Lizzie. Because if they meet each other again I don't want Chase to just stand there. I want her to be happy when she sees her and I want her to run into her arms.

„Can't you try to remember?" she asked me out of nothing.

„I am trying my best. But nothing seems to work." I told her and she looked upset.

„If I forget things I try to look at something that might help me remember. Like a photo or a note."
she told me and that made me think of something.
Maybe I just need to snoop around in my own stuff and there could be a high chance that I will bump into something that will make me remember.

„Thank you for your advice. I will see what I can do about it honey."

„Oh and I spilled ketchup on my shirt today could you wash it?" she asked as she pointed at her favorite shirt that has unicorns on it.

„Of course I can. I will do it now I got some laundry to do anyways." I took the shirt and tugged it into the back pocket of my jeans.

„Do you want me to read you a good nicht story? Or are you tired enough?" I asked as I tugged her into her blanket after she yawned.

„No it's okay tonight."

„Okay great. I'll go and do the laundry in the basement if you need me I'll be down there alright."

„Uhu." she answered as she started to toss into sleep.

„I love you honey."

„I love you too mom." I gave her a kiss on the head and opened her little night light.

„Good night honey." I got up and collected some clothes that need to be washed before I closed the door.

Lizzie POV

„Is the sun setting or rising?" I asked as I entered the kitchen. I wanted to make myself a cup of coffee and before I could realize I felt a flat hand collide with my face. Forget the coffee I am definitely awake now.

„Mom what the fuck? Dad did you see this what was that for?" dad staid silent and sipped on his whiskey glass.