Only you (Book 4)

Arguing

Nora POV

„Mom what happened to your hand?!?" Quinn asked first as he hugged me before he jumped into the car. Chase was right after him and as she walked closer she grabbed my hand and looked at it before looking up to me.

„Mommy's okay. It was just a little accident. No need to worry. How was your day?" I asked as I buckled them up with my free hand.

„Today was cool. We finally had sports again."
Quinn answered and I smiled wide at them before sitting down next to scar.

„Hi aunty scar." the twins greeted her and she smiled back at them.

„Mom? Can we visit mama?" Chase asked me and they both don't know that she is currently in the hospital.

„Where do you wanna visit her?"

„At ver place. Or at her work place because you said she is always working." Chase added.

„Look sweetie. Why don't we give her some more days and I promise you that you will see her soon."

„You ruined it didn't you?" she asked disappointed and I didn't know what she meant by that.

„What do you mean?" I asked as I looked back while scar started to drive.

„Your relationship with mama. Since you came back it feel like you act as if she was never there.
But she was the one reading us bed story's. Checking if there were monsters under my bed. Braiding my hair and showering us. She watched with us our Disney movies."

„We miss her a lot mom." Quinn added quietly.

„she was you while you were gone. Now we have to moms but you act as if it's just you."

„I am sorry." was all I could bring out and the twins both leaned their head onto their window.

„yeah. Me too." Chase mumbled under her breath and I turned myself back around so that I don't have to see how my kids are disappointed in me.

I could have told them that Lizzie is in the hospital.
I could have taken them there to see her but I didn't. I don't know what it did to them when they saw me in the hospital. I don't even know if they did. I wish they didn't see me during that time.
I honestly wouldn't have wanted them to see me that way. They would always remember me in that way and that can be traumatic for the little ones.

I also didn't want them to be there because I know that by now Lizzie's family will be there beside her.
It would be extremely chaotic if we'd show up there. Because there are so many unspoken words that surround us all. Especially me and Lizzie.
So I didn't tell them because I didn't want them to worry in the way I do.

Lizzie POV

„Hii lizard. It's me mama." I saw mom right in front of me as he hand stroked over my cheek. A relieved smile rested on her face. I glanced to the side hoping that she'd be here but her crutches were gone.

„Your sisters are on their way too."
She added thinking that I probably think where they are even though I wasn't looking for them.

„What time is it?" I asked her.

„Round about seven pm." she replied after glancing at her watch.

„Scarlett called and told me what happened."
She added and I felt tears build up inside of me.

„I really wanted to see them. I really did. But mom. Why is the universe always pushing something between me and her so that we separate?"

„Oh lizard I don't know. I am so sorry. You can still go back to her after you are healed."

„We fought again earlier. She told me I was her kids „temporary mom" but mom. I love them so much. So much that it hurts."

„You mean her with „them" right?" she asked but her statement sounded like she knows the answer already. But I staid silent and didn't reply to that question.

„I love her kids... and chestnut." I answered and she took her hand away from my face to Sit down in the chair she pulled up next to me. Her only reply was her nodding her head but that nod gave of the attitude that says „i know damn well you are lying to yourself" and maybe I am. Maybe I don't wanna realize it yet. But I don't know why.

„I will make you grandmas soup when we go home.
This will give you the nutritions you need so that you can think clearly again." she answered a bit judging.

„What's with that attitude?" I asked and she raised a brow.

„Young lady. You don't get to ask me that."
She told me in a warning way.

„What? It was a normal question."

„I just want you to get yourself together. It pains us all to see you this way."

„In what way do you see me?"

„Frustrated, heartbroken, sad, depressed. You name it. I really feel like I should talk to Nora like that too. Maybe she will make a move."

„Mom she won't make a move. She doesn't even remember our past."

„She will one day. And then I will be the first one to talk to her in that demanding way."

„Well. She's really stubborn. She won't listen to you."

„wow. Exactly like you never do. Looks like you both have a lot in common." she replied and I rolled my eyes on her.

„I don't know why you act like that. But remember that accident happened because I was on my to her place."

„Yeah but you did it for Chases sake. I know you didn't want to go and talk to Nora."

„Well then do enlighten me mother! What am I supposed to talk to her about? How good the weather is?"

„No for fucking sake be fucking clear about your emotions. Stop denying shit and take actions."

„Isn't driving to her enough action?"

„If you can't say it. Write it down for her. Just let her know how you truly feel. Even if you think it's not necessary because she doesn't remember.
Still. You will be appreciated and I know for sure Nora will handle and think differently when you Isas what's on your heart." she yelled at me a bit and I started to feel like a kid again who is being lectured.

...