Only you (Book 4)

Clear amd clean

Nora POV

„Boring." she answered my question on how her day at school way. She poked her food while having her head resting on her hand.
I glanced over to scar and she singed me to let it be. To not peak further.

„Hmm... Boring you say? Okay. What makes it." I asked and she shrugged her shoulders and kept her head low.

„Nora could you pass me the salt?" I heard scar ask but my eyes didn't look towards her. I kept them on Chase.

„Please!" she insisted sternly and I glanced to her while passing her the salt. She scrunched her brows together in an angry way and shook her head shortly signing me to stop and I listened to her this time.

„Honey. I want you to know that I love you okay! And if there is anything you want to tell me...
Mommy will be right here to listen." I told her and the only thing she did was nod her head.

Dinner went by real quick and as we got ready to clean up I let my kids go upstairs to play. They usually always want to help but now I told them to go because scar will be helping me out. She was cleaning the dishes and I was washing them dry and putting them back into the places where they belong.

„Didn't expect that you'd listen to me earlier but I am glad you did." she spoke up to break the silence I held up like a barrier.

„I feel like I should've said more. I almost had her say something."

„No you almost had her freak out. I know you have good intentions and I know you only mean good for her but she was almost freaking out."

„I just never saw her this way and I am terrified that I won't handle it on my own cause-."

„You're not alone. You have Liz and me and Beth as you closest circle. We will help you out if you need help."

„Oh Lizzie is probably out of the picture. It has been hours since I tried to call her and I still didn't get a call back. Things are ruined between us."

„Oh come on don't say that. Nora maybe she just needs some time. Give her that. It's the least you can do because you took your time too while being gone and even now you still need your time to get back." she told me and now I feel even more like shit.

„Time... yeah."

„What's on your mind come on talk to me. Please don't shut down." she pulled my attention back to her.

„I feel like „time" pushes us apart even more.
I don't wanna take the time to come back but I know it won't be good for us if I just jump in.
I honestly can't imagine how she must've felt while I wasn't around. That she had the patience to wait for... Someone like me."

„Someone like you? Don't make yourself sound worthless. Do you hear me? Even if time will push you guys away for now, things will settle and you will find each other again."

„She deserves better. Something that is safe.
With less problems and with more joy. I don't have anything to offer to her."

„You have a lot to offer Nora. You are thoughtful and caring and protective over your family. Those are all good values. You are funny and charming.
Your good in bed. I was teaching you."
I threw my towel at her at those last comments.

„Oh fuck off."

„I was just trying to lighten up the mood a bit. See? I can see that smirk on your face. Which means I am right." she pointed out with her hand dripping soap and water to the ground.

„Nah is just let you dominate a lot, this doesn't mean you were teaching me things." I told her cheeky and she raised her brows and making a fake offensive expression which made me laugh lightly.

„What a brat you were. Those times were fun."
She stated and I nod in agreement.

„Indeed they were. Sometimes."

„By the way. How's it going with Cobie? Does she know we used to do it together? I just don't want you guys to split because of this."

„No we are good. Great even. She knows by now and she was mad at first but it's in the past and I wouldn't trade her for anything in this world. She's my person." she told me and turned away to put a plate away but I also wanted to hide my tears for some reason.

„I am happy for the both of you. This is awesome. I used to remember how you said you don't want anything serious. But looks like Cobie has a hold on you."

„Ugh she does. I mean have you seen her? But it's not just the outside that turns me on. Her in general. Everything about her makes me the luckiest woman ever." she answered dreamy and if I move a bit I could see how her eyes were sparkling.

„That sounds beautiful... and healthy. You deserve to be happy." I answered as I stroked her arm to give it a light squeeze.

„But in all seriousness, back to what we talked about earlier. I don't think Lizzie is out seeking material things. She wants a family and she has one here. You and your chaotic kids. With chestnut on top." she reassured me and I couldn't help but to smile a bit now.

„I hope you're right. I just want her to be happy."

„Even if that means that you won't be happy in the end?" she asked and I held in for a moment.

„I've never really been truly happy. Even with my kids I am happy and grateful but I still have this hole in my heart that is empty and it won't get filled. So yes I would still want her to be happy because I won't get to that happy point in life."

Scar stopped the water and dried her hands off on her shirt to turn herself completely towards me and to pull me in for an unexpected deep hug.
„You deserve to be happy to Nora. I've got the pleasure to know you and as things became more complicated you've decided to do huge selfless acts. You always put other first. Starting off by you going back to Victor. Then he you've faked your death. Okay that was a mix of selfish and selfless. But the you've sacrificed your life for Lizzie's.
It is time for you to be selfish!!" she said as she hugged me so tight that I can let myself fall into her arms. I wasn't sobbing this time. My tears were silent but not as silent as my selfless acts were.

„I don't think I can." I answered and she began to stoke my back up and down.

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