Only you (Book 4)

Back home

Lizzie POV

„Lizard. I made you some tea." my mom walked up to me where I was sitting. I've decided spontaneously to drive home to my parent house and I don't know for how long I will be staying here. I was sitting outside by myself just watching the nature around me.

„Thanks mom." I took the cup and placed it on the small table next to me. My mom joined me as she put her hand on my thigh.

„What is going on hm? I haven't seen you in a while." She asked concerned.

„I'm fine. I was just pretty occupied with some stuff." my mom leaned back into her chair and raised a brow sternly as if she obviously knew that I was lying.

„Is it about Nora?" she asked and I looked at her confused. I didn't tell her anything about her because I was never sure how to Adress her since I am still married to Robbie.

„Don't make such a surprised expression. Your sisters are really talkative. You all do the same. When I ask you about your life you guys switch to your siblings life and give me their secrets and tea. That's how I know almost everything."

„Oh my fucking god I am gonna rip their heads off as soon as their home." I answered sounding clearly annoyed.

„So? Wanna tell me more? Because I feel like I only know the surface."

„Yeah probably just the tip of the iceberg."
I mumbled to myself as I rubbed my eyes not really knowing where to start.

„What is it that you do know, cause I don't wanna repeat things that have been said already."
I asked her as I grabbed my cup of tea.

„You guys had something before you married Robbie I know that. Then she faked her death that really effected you we all noticed that and she came back but I don't know anything else."
She listed her knowledge up and I nod.

„Well apparently she has twins from her abusive ex. Quinn and Chase. Both almost seven years old. She has a dog as well. A golden retriever. Her name is Chestnut." my mom raised her brows in shock and I sipped on my tea before moving on.

„We didn't really had the chance to get closer before we got ripped apart again. Victor, her psychotic ex came by when I was at her place. Things escalated and he shot her with her revolver. He died that night. Mom she jumped in front of me. She sacrificed herself. I had to promise her to take care of Quinn and Chase and I did that for three months. But when she came back she couldn't remember me. The things we had the memories we shared were erased out of her mind and I couldn't take that. I snapped." I poured everything out in a short version and my mom was speechless.
This usually never happens only in titanic every single time when jack dies even though she knows what will happen. Till this day I don't get why she is so in love with that story.  But I made her speechless.

„Oh lizard why didn't you tell me?"
She asked and I shrugged my shoulders feeling how the tears were beaming in my eyes.

„It was a lot to deal with and I still try to deal with it on my own. I thought that if I might would've told you, you'd say I am crazy for taking care of her kids."

„I would say the complete opposite Love. I am proud of you for taking such a huge responsibility onto you shoulders. I would have come by to help you out but I remember back in the days when you used to babysit the neighbors kids you were great. That's when I knew that you'd be a great mother figure." she told me and I started to cry heavy.
She got up and took the cup I had in my hands and placed it aside. She sat down next to me and pulled me in so I could lay on her thigh how I always used to do when I was little. So I laid there in a fetus position crawled up crying on my moms thigh.

„You know what hurts the most? W-when she was laying in my arms while bleeding out and she was ready to let go. She said that it's okay that she is dying. How can she say that when she has so many people that will be left behind."

„Nora has been through hell. From what I got to hear it must've been a hard life so far and I don't think it became easier for her. So maybe she was ready to leave because of that." she told me as she stroked my head.

„But what about her twins? Chase and Quinn? What about them? She would have left her kids alone in this cruel world."

„Lizard I don't want you to forget that the kids Nora got were from her abuser. Which means she must've been raped multiple times. That is a tremendous traumatic experience and even if she might not show it or talk about it, it will always lay heavy on her mind and soul." she reminded me and I started to cry heavier.

„she would have left me behind too. I lost her once and then she laid in my arms dying for the second time and now... now I feel like I am losing here again."

„Why do you think you'll lose her again?"

„because she forgot about me and she said „maybe I am better off without those memories.". How could she say that?"

„Just because she doesn't remember the past doesn't mean you can't have a bright future with her. If she forgot how she felt about you, then you should try to make her remember. Or try to make her fall for you again. I am sure she wouldn't mind."
She told me as she kept on stroking my head.

„I feel like she hates me since I've said the things I said last night. She told me I should leave. Leave and go back to Robbie who tried to kill her."

„Hold on. He tried to kill her? You didn't tell me that. How and when?"

„After she woke up. He climbed into her hospital room on one night and he was trying to suffocate her with a pillow. He's with the police now and I haven't seen him since and neither did I visit him. Even before all of that I haven't seen him in months."

„So did your marriage fall apart before those things with Nora happened?"

„I think it broke apart because of Nora. She was a trigger to a lot of arguments between me and Robbie and I don't get it."

„You really are blind sometimes huh." she stated
and I moved my head for a sec to look up at her in a confused way before liking back to our garden.

„what is that supposed to mean?" I asked confused.

„I think I get why all of this arguing happened. It's because your heart was never fully with Robbie.
Maybe you tricked your mind on believing that it was the right thing and probably the safest option.
But it was never the right option in the end.
Not for your heart. That was and still is beating for Nora." she told me and that made me contemplate a lot.

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