When I Found Myself

The Bad Parts

Hellllloooooooo!! Welcome back bitches. Yeah my old account is unusable (that's definitely a word) at the moment. This might be for a couple months or like a decade but yk, it's fine. So just enjoy the story ig.

The picture reposition AGAIN. 😡😡 Wtf, hopefully it's just me and y'all can enjoy their gorgeousness without the bad quality in the way. 😊😊Maybe this chapter will turn out to be good. 🤞🤞Enjoy! 😘😘

Timeline:
Wednesday, July 5th, 2020
6:30 AM - 6:55 AM

⚠️TW⚠️
Panic attack

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Stupid COVID. It fucked everything up.

You were barely in the group for three months when it hit. You can't go out in public without a mask, which is good for privacy, but not for breathing. You've always been nervous in public, ever since one guy decided it would be a good idea to randomly pull you into a back hug and take a selfie. When you're nervous your breathing speeds up and with the mask, it gets close to impossible to catch your breath again.

This all comes into play when you're on your way to work, just on an ordinary Wednesday.

*beep beep beep*

You wake with a start, hearing the alarm start to go off.

*bleep bleep bleep*

"What a great way to start the day." You sigh, punching the button that turns the alarm off. The alarm was cut short which kinda bothered you and your OCD.

"No mates nadie hoy. No mates nadie hoy." {don't kill anyone today} Every morning you'll repeat that to yourself.

Sometimes you can get really fed up with your manager and his bitchy attitude towards you. Everyday he's constantly reminding you to do things; stay quiet, don't be rude or make people uncomfortable, act respectful around your superiors, keep your idol image up in public, it's annoying. He's not even close to this negative towards the guys and you suspect it's either because you're the newest member or because you're the only female in the group. Which is dumb.

But you still love what you do. It's great to be able to express yourself secretly in songs and get to see how people interpret it. Dancing and singing your heart out for the people that adore you. It's a great confidence booster to read all the great comments on your performances.

Of course, there is a lot of negativity from haters, but you turn their criticism into either constructive criticism or you laugh at it because you can't change some things about you. I'm general, you're loving the idol life. Until the bad parts introduce themselves.

Still half asleep, you slip on some work attire, a cute pair cropped jeans and a fluffy, pastel pink zip up jacket over a white sports bra. A quick glance at the clock says it's only six forty. You traipse into your bathroom to freshen up a bit before doing your hair and makeup. Two braids into pigtails is your choice of hairstyle, a cute one to match your outfit. You put on light makeup with a pink lip and eyeshadow.

Then you pack your duffel bag, you got yourself one to match the guys. Every day you pack a change of clothes for dance practice, a hair brush and spray for after, as well as self defense tools for your time outside, a charger, AirPods, some snacks, and your badge.

Once dressed and packed, you head downstairs for a quick bite of food before you leave. Jeongin is already downstairs at the kitchen island, it looks like he's grabbing a snack before heading out, like you. You purposely make a little noise walking down the last couple steps, just to make him aware of your presence before he sees you.