When I Found Myself

Somebody

HE LOOKS SO FUCKING PURE IN THAT PICTURE IM GOING TO DIE 💀💀😭😭 Can somebody get me a boyfriend that looks like that?

Ok I'm done simping now that was embarrassing. 😅😅 This is the chapter I was talking ab w the big convo, as u may have guessed. I just hope y'all enjoy. 😉😉

English lines appear like this
Korean lines appear like this
Thoughts appear like this when used in complete sentences

⚠️TW⚠️
Cursing
Touching Without Permission (mentions)
Kissing Scene (🥳🥳)

Timeline:
Saturday, October 22nd, 2022
9:50 AM - 10:10 AM

Word Count: 2013

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YOUR POV
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Is there something on your mind that you're not telling us?

He just had to ask. Now you're going to get emotional and you're a really ugly crier. This conversation between you and who knows who else has been on your mind for weeks on end. You've been dreading having to talk about how you've been feeling with anyone, let alone the one who's fucking with your mental health the most right now.

As you think about the question Chan just asked you throw yourself on your bed and then sit up crossed legged, hugging a pillow.

"There a few things." You finally say after almost a minute.

Chan just gives you a sad, but knowing smile as he sits on your desk chair. "If you want to talk about it, we're all here for you." He offers.

Of course you know that they'd listen but you don't want to put that weight on their shoulders. Plus, the hate and expectations are just another part of being an idol, and the world isn't going to change just because you're not happy with something. You're happy to listen to others and help them, it makes you feel just a little more confident in yourself. But the thought of burdening someone with your complaints isn't going to solve anything, it might even make it worse.

In the split second all that runs through your head you decide to say "You know I always have shit tuning through my head. Sorry that I don't say all of it out loud."

That was kind of a dumb thing to say. Oh well. You can't just give everyone that tries to help you attitude if you actually want them to help you. Chan seems unfazed for your snarky remark and just stairs at the ceiling.

"There's always a time to just vent to someone. No filters, no judgment, just a way to voice everything that's going on. Sometimes even that in itself can be good for you, without any comforting from the other." He says after a while.

"Yeah, I know." You let out the rest of your breath before inhaling deeply, "I just- it's so hard to put it into words. You know what I mean?"

Chan hums in agreement and you continue. "I don't want to make it seem like its something it's not. Like it's more serious or anything like that."

"If you feel comfortable, I can help you work out what you're feeling and how to take care of it with you." The older offers. "O-only if you want it of course." He hurries to clarify after seeing my hesitation.