When I Found Myself

Ausified Still Isn't a Word

I'm back wonderful people!

Sorry I've been gone for so long, idk why my past couple weeks changed so suddenly but they did, and I couldn't sit down to write. Whoops.

Anyway, let's get back to the story!

English dialogue appears like this
Korean dialogue appears like this
Thoughts appear like this when used in complete sentences
Author notes appear like this.

⚠️TW⚠️:
Cursing
Depression & anxiety (mentions)
Other mental disturbing stuff that idk where it came from but it's weird but not unknown
Kissing/ making out
Hand/blow jobs (male receiving)

Timeline:
Tuesday, January 10th, 2023
5:30 PM - 6:15

Word Count: 2180

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAN'S POV
—————————

"Stargazing? I'd love to go, Channie"

And with that I knew I'd done a good job. That Felix had done a good job.

Thank you Felix, a million thank you's to you.

And as I gaze at her smile, one that lights up her eyes a lone with everything else, I take her hand and help her up. After barely a minute of packing all of the stuff back into my car, we're on the road again, on our way to the special location I've picked about an hour and a half drive out of the city.

"I can't believe this is real." Y/N whispers after five minutes.

"I hope you will by the time we get there." I smile and look at her in the rear view mirror, "otherwise all this driving will be for nothing."

She throws her head back, laughing. I'm so glad she's enjoying this, it'll make it easier to ask the question I've been wanting to ask.

Flashback
Yesterday, 11:30 AM
/-|-\-|-/-|-\

"Girlfriend?!"

"Hey, I just wanted to ask you because you're her best friend."

"I know, I get it, Chan." Minho runs his hands through his hair and sighs. "I understand your feelings for her. I'm just scared she'll distance herself again."

" Wha- 'Distance herself?' What do you mean?" My thoughts run wild, in a panic.

"She cuts herself off from us, from reality." Minho's very serious eyes are fixed on mine. "She turns off all emotions, doesn't talk to anyone. She's also good at hiding this, so good it's fucking scary. I'm not just scared for her, I'm scared of her. Of what she can do to herself."

Oh shit.

"How far has she taken this?" My voice shakes slightly, definitely noticeable to Minho's keen senses.

"Too far. I think she uses it to cope. The most she's done physically is near starvation, nothing more, but I still hate it." Tears prick at the corners of his eyes as he describes this. "She's just gotten herself back together, she doesn't need your ausified ways to fuck her up all over again."

"I'll be careful." The brunette sadly looks back up at me. "I promise."

7:10 PM
/-|-\-|-/-|-\

I promise...

"And I'll keep that promise."

Two silent tears slip out of my eyes, only to be immediately wiped away. The truth is that I'm terrified of what will happen. Whether it be to me or her...