When I Found Myself

Open Door?

I'm back w another part!! part three! I rlly like this one, i hope y'all enjoy it too. Anyway, that's all I gotta say, enjoy!

English lines appear like this, Korean lines appear like this, thoughts appear like this when used in complete sentences, author notes appear like this.

⚠️TW⚠️: Cursing

Timeline: Thursday, July 25th, 2019

Word Count: 2148

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOUR POV
—————————

There's decisions you've made in your life that you can't explain. You've tried, with multiple different people at multiple different levels of emotional stability. But to your own frustration, the explanations often turned to tears and the repetition of the phrase "I don't know".

Like why you first felt like you needed to hide your love for art and creativity, or when you chose not to tell your friends about the JYP card. You've only found one explanation for why you choose to hide important things, there's only one common thread between all these life-altering situations: your trust issues.

How'd you get those trust issues? Well, it's simple. Your family. The people that you see everyday. The people that live in the same house you do. The people that are supposed to love you, but they don't. The people you try so hard to love, but get nothing in return. You don't know why, but they don't try when it comes to you.

For some odd reason, your parents - mostly your mother - despise your taste in art, music, fashion; anything. You like it, they hate it. Even your one friend you had when you were young and still living in Australia. This was before your parents dragged your ass out of there without a word in advance.

You want to say that's where your mistrust towards them became more noticeable, where the trauma spiral started. You were seven at the time, still learning about the world. And the one thing you learned the day you came home from school to an empty house and an awaiting flight to England was that no one could be trusted, not even your own parents.

Now you're twenty years old and desperately trying to get through life on your own. You did reach out to Mrs. Potter yesterday, which is a huge step up from where you were before. Now you're talking with Elana, in hopes of getting more advice.

"But what if I don't get in? What will I do then?" You repeat yourself for at least the third time.

"You could always come to my place." Elana suggests.

A sigh escapes your lips, "with what money?"

"Get a job..? Plus, it's not like you're broke." She says it as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. The only frustrating part is that she's right.

"That means learning the language. Like three days ago." You role your eyes. It all seems so impossible.

"Look, I'll convince my parents to pay for your shit if you need it..." she pauses before adding, "... I doubt you will, though. You spoiled ass rich kid."

"Oh shut it." You run your hands though your loose hair.

"Just try it." Elana whines, "and if it doesn't work it doesn't work. You don't wanna live with that regret, trust me."

"Fine!" You barely hear a small "yes!" coming from Elana. "If it means you'll shut your trap."

"Oh I will for now," she smirks. "Until you make the big money, then my trap's gon' be wide open. And yours might be too."