Zodiac Things ^^

the signs as white suburban moms

aries: "fight me helen, i know my son is better at soccer than yours"
taurus: "why didn't my dessert sell the most at my daughter's 5th-grade bake sale? i'm suing the school"
gemini: "what is twerking? i want to know what that is. i'll try it to impress my teenage kids"
cancer: "family bonding time! we're going to disney land and i got us all matching neon green t-shirts! we'll take a picture at every ride! so much fun!"
leo: *wears the current teenager fashion* "i'm with it, i'm hip, i'm the cool mom"
virgo: "connor, clean your room or you get no tv for a week. i swear to god this household is a mess"
libra: "how was school today, meaghan? yolo swag, am i right? you're the chillest daughter ever. blaze the 420, lol"
scorpio: "gretchen, hold my purse while i fight this bitch"
sagittarius: "kids, don't do so much homework. here, play video games and sneak out instead! want some of my vodka?"
capricorn: "i'd like to speak to your manager"
aquarius: "does anyone want to join my book club? we can read the sisterhood of the traveling pants"
pisces: *watches soap operas and goes on facebook too much*