Love Never Disappears.

Chapter 12: Home & Family

After a couple of days, the Hank incident was gone. He was doing perfectly fine, he was doing alright. So when the team were called in today on their day off, bright early in the morning they were confused even platt was there.

' what's happening?' Ruzek asked as he pointed to Voight office where the blinds were shut. The rest shrugged and Halstead was now interested for this so called meeting.

' miss me guys' a voice came from behind and there stood Antonio Dawson.

' Antoino' Ruzek said and gave him a hug. And so did the rest one by one.

' I've missed you buddy' Jay said as he hugged his long time friend.

' so what are you doing here?' Jay asked.

' I don't know Voight called me and said it was urgent' antonio spoke and now the rest were intrigued by this. Halstead was about to speak when Voight came out of his office.

' so I know you guys are wondering what you lot are doing early in the morning, but it was urgent' he said and Erin appeared from behind. Antonio stood there in shock, he was so happy to see his sister. He strode towards her and gave her a big hug.

' ohhh I've missed you' Antonio whispered in her ear, they were there for a minute before they pulled back and Antonio placed a kiss on her forehead.

' now what's going on? You coming back to intelligence or what?' Antonio asked, Erin smiled sadly, as much as she wanted to come back she couldn't. Hank looked at his feet. Not saying anything.

' no that's not it... it's been really heard for the past couple of months. I don't know how to say this..... I started feeling sick a couple of months ago whilst I was in new York' she paused and Jays heat started beating really fast, he didn't know what she was going to say but he felt in his heart what it was but he didn't want her to say it because then it'll come true

' I... um... got cancer' she said aloud those words and now it felt real. She closed her eyes as the tears started forming again. They all gasped as they heard the words come out of their friend and sister. Tears started forming in all their eyes.

' I love you all so much, you guys are my family and I just wanted to protect you' she said particularly looking Into Jays eyes as she once again saw his heart break a million times. But he was just stood their in shock not registering what the hell she was saying. His love had cancer, she had cancer. And she didn't tell him. He felt as if he couldn't breathe so he left in anger. Trying to get some air cause he couldn't be here any longer.

' I'm so sorry' Erin spoke, as jay left she knew she had to go speak to him.

All off the members of the family came one by one and gave her a hug. They all gave her a massive hug. Al and Hank smiled at each other and were proud that Erin told everyone because this is what she needed.

' you could have told us you know linds' Atwater spoke, with tears he blinks.

' yeah I know but I just couldn't .... but now I've told you guys, and I've got to go hospital in a day to start my treatment' she said as she gave him another hug. Whilst they were talking to her she excused herself as she went to go look for jay. She knew he would be in the locker room it was their thing. So when she entered she saw him on the bench facing towards her locker, his eyes red and tears not holding back.

' jay' she said quietly whilst approaching him as if he was an animal. She went near him and he stood up and stood further away.

' no... no' he spoke and stuttered as he stood away.

' I ... just don't understand why you couldn't tell me? I get it we weren't together I get that I really do. But I love you Erin I would have been there for you.. oh my god. This is why you were saying all those things about you not loving me because you didn't want me to know.. you were pushing me to be with everyone else' he said as more tears came out of his eyes and tears were threatininh to come out of hers.

' jay-'

' I don't get it, did you not trust me... did you not love me dammit' he punched the lockers with all his strength and anger.

' don't you dare talk about the love I have for you! I have loved you from the minute I saw you. I love you from all my heart!' She screamed at him. She walked towards him and held his hand.

' there was a reason... I didn't tell you. And I couldn't jay. Because I knew if you found out you wouldn't be you. You would take care of me and forget about yourself I didn't want that. And if something happens to me you will be ruined jay.. Hank told me what happened after I left but if I leave permanently then you would cease to exist. You needed to learn how to live without me' she looked in his green eyes who was just full of worries and concern.

' you keep doing that er! You take care of everyone else and not yourself. You were worried about my future but what about yours.... I'm sorry I can't have this... conversation right now' he said as he chocked on his sob and left the locker room. She stood there in shock as he had left. Not knowing what to do. She stood there for a couple of minutes then saw that his locker was opened with a picture of him and her. She traced her fingers over the picture as more tears were coming out more then ever, she sat on the bench as she sobbed as she could. Letting out all those feelings that she had kept inside her.

After a couple of hours, everyone went to mollys as Ruzek had said to everyone. Like always. They offered but she said she was going to join later if she felt like it and they all understood. As they had spent the entire day in the bullpen just joking around. She had told everyone that Kim knew along with Will and al. So later they wouldn't have a go at Them. Now she sat on Jays desk whilst Hank was finishing up with a phone call. She sat there closing her eyes and all her life memories in this district just fast forwarded.

' cases come and go, jobs come and go, I don't want you to come and go'

' shut up Ruzek'

' we are putting together a task force on how to make coffee.. I got you started, cream, two sugars it's really simple'

' I wasn't going to say anything then lang called and said you left your pantsuit at the headquarters'

' do me one favour DONT give me one of those open fingered explosion hands that people do I hate that and if it's your thing I'd rather high five'

' you don't know a good thing when you see it'

' never go in with back up again'

She opened her eyes with tears in them and saw Hank stood infront of her. She didn't even hear him come out of his office. He gave her a smile as she stood up.

' you ready to go kiddo'

'I..uh... think I am' she spoke as she went around and they started walking together but she looked around and looked at the bullpen one more time before she nodded her head and walked down.

When they walked down she saw that platt was waiting. Platt walked over and gave her a hug and suprisnngly she hugged her back. Trudy platt, was like another mother to her after camille it was her who looked after her made sure she ate and slept.

' im always with you honey' she said in Erins ear and pulled back.

' you can't leave yet you have to get more Grey hair on this old man' she pointed towards Hank who gave one of his rare smiles.

' I know only A few more black hair left that I have to make sure they go white' they all chuckled.

' Im not saying goodbye, I'm saying see you later detective lindsey' Platt said officially making sure she said detective and boy did it feel good. Both father and daughter Walked down the stairs. She stopped again and turned around. This was her second hime, this was the place where she was first arrested by Hank Voight, this is the place that gave her home. This is the place where she created a family. She closed her eyes for a minute and let the wind hit her face. This was her home and it's always going to be her home.

This is the place to find happiness, if one doesn't find it here, one doesn't find it anywhere.