i deserve to bleed - sushi soucy
this is a rant
-
there's an addicting pain i can't rid of,
i yearn for the pain
i deserve it, don't i?
i press against my thighs with a sharp edge and squeeze my eyes shut, covering my mouth with my hands to conceal the screams.
i can't stop
when i don't feel pain, i think im...selfish?
everything is confusing.
i feel like i deserve the pain.
i watch as the blood seeps through.
then a sudden wave of panic comes.
'i have to cover this-'
i deserve to bleed.
--
i don't know why, but im so scared.
i feel too scared to live.
im scared of myself.
what if i cut myself again?
what if i do something to harm myself again?
everything seems so stressful.
i wish i could close my eyes and never wake up.
the world is too scary.
people are scary.
people make your life worse.
why cant i hide
im scared.
that's all.
--
