Fantasia

XXXIII

August, eleven years ago

It got better after a day or so.
After all, it was what Eddy wanted to choose as a career. It was his dream! And when the realization dawned after a restless night full of weird, fuzzy dreams, that he was really going to audition for the con, an incredulous laugh escaped him while he scooped up his cereal during a lonely breakfast.

However, he hadn't seen his mother since yesterday after she'd left the battlefield where she'd suffered defeat. Eddy wasn't sure if he should knock on her door, check on her or just leave her be and give her time. His worry grew by the minute though, so before he left for school, Eddy carefully opened the bedroom door. It was dark in there, the air hung heavy and seemed to press on him the more Eddy tried to make out the silhouette of his mother.
"Mum?"
No answer. She was just lying there on her bed, still and quiet, her back facing Eddy.
"Mum, are you okay?"
Again, no answer. Eddy didn't have much time, so he added, "Mum, I have to go. I just wanted to let you know that I handed in the application yesterday. For the con."
She didn't even flinch. Was she asleep?
"And all of this doesn't mean I don't respect or love you, mum. But I have to do my own thing."
There was so much more Eddy wanted to say, to clarify. That he did know she wanted the best for him, that he cared for her well-being and that all this was really bad timing with his dad's passing being so recent, but that he had no choice. But the words were stuck in his throat, making it almost impossible for him to swallow or even breathe.

So he pressed out a, "Okay, I gotta go, mum", closed the door and left the house as fast as he could, feeling the tension dissolve the more distance he gained from home and everything that had happened there.

On his way to school, Eddy's excitement grew almost exponentially until he felt like he'd explode in broad daylight if he couldn't vent right this moment. Who else better to call than the one who was basically responsible for the highest high Eddy was experiencing in months?
"Bro! Am I interrupting?"
"Eddy?"
"I'm gonna audition for the con!!!"
Brett's chuckle on the other end made Eddy's heart soar. "Yeah, mate! You do know we handed in the audition yesterday?"
"I know,  I know... unbelievable", Eddy shook his head to himself.
"You happy then?", Brett asked. Eddy heard rustling on the other end, probably Brett stuffing his con assignments into his bag. "You didn't exactly seem thrilled when you gave your documents to the front desk lady."
"I think I'm getting there..."
"Good... Listen, can we talk today? Like face to face?"
Eddy frowned. Brett sounded unsure, which was very much out of character for him. Out of the two of them Brett was always the one who knew what to do and just did it without second guessing himself. And what did Brett want to discuss that they couldn't talk about over the phone?
"Uhm, sure! Tell me when and where."
"You want to come over to my place after school?"
"I'm off school earlier than you. And don't you have to practice for your recital next week?"
"Nah! I mean, yes. But I can practice afterwards. And I'm just gonna skip solfege, who needs that anyway?"
Eddy's frown deepened. Brett absenting himself from solfege wasn't out of the ordinary. However, It wasn't like him to procrastinate practice for important stuff. Normal, regular practice from time to time, sure, but not if it was for a con recital in front of peers and professors.
It must be a real important reason why he wanted to meet Eddy then?
"Okay, if you really think that's okay?"
"'Course! I meet you at my place then?"
"Sure! See you then!"

Bringing up concentration for French, Math, History and Geography was close to impossible with all the thoughts about his upcoming audition, his mum's reaction towards his big life decision and most of all and funnily enough, Brett wanting to talk to him swirling around like a hurricane, destroying everything in it's way. Needless to say, no subject had gotten the amount of attention Eddy should have paid them and when the bell finally, mercily rang, he closed his book with a big sigh and the presage of a massive headache lurking above him.

Brett had pleaded Eddy to go to his place after school and based on his plans to leave out the last lecture and practice, Eddy'd guessed Brett meant immediately. There was something Eddy had to check on first though, as the by now shameful son he had become: his mother.
He had texted her during lunch time, had even tried to call home to no avail. Eddy would never forgive himself if something would happen to her just because he was too selfish and met up with his best bro instead of going home. He withstood the strong urge to run all the way like some seven year old and instead settled with a what he hoped less pathetic fast paced power walk. When Eddy reached the house, he carefully opened the front door, all of his senses heightened like he was breaking in his own home.

"Mum?", he called. There was no answer to the echoes the tiled walls sent throughout the hallway.
"Mum?", Eddy tried again, while he walked towards her bedroom where he'd last seen her. A knock on the door, before he slowly opened it and glanced inside.

"Mum?"