Fantasia

XV

Brett Yang.

That name clung itself to Eddy's consciousness all day. During the Friday team recap in the morning, the rush of different calls he had to make, the important business lunch with a client, the talk with his boss in the afternoon and the almost obligatory social gathering of the office floor with lots of beer to kick off the weekend.

"Eddyyyy! Relax for just a moment, man!", Theo thused, way too close to Eddy's right ear, emitting a hint of the brew he'd finished half way.
"I am!", Eddy lied.
"You're not! I see it in your tense neck muscles."
"You're being ridiculous", Eddy stated dryly, massaged his neck with one hand and brought the nearly untouched beer to his mouth with his other. Although his introverted ass hated this, Eddy used to tell himself, that this type of socializing with his co-workers was a necessity on his career path. However today, he couldn't bring himself to care. Every fibre in Eddy was urging him to go home where he had decent internet and, most of all, his peace to continue his search for that one person.
It also didn't help that he hated beer.

"Gonna go home."
"What? Already? Let's have some fun! We deserve it after this week. You especially!"
"I have other stuff to do. See you Monday!"
"Noooo, stay!", Theo yelled and grabbed Eddy's arm.
"Dude!", Eddy half cried out, the shy and well-mannered part of himself keeping him from making a scene. The others were having too much fun to notice anything though.
"Chill a bit, bro! It's important to not always take everything so seriously", Theo said a bit calmer. Eddy looked at him. He knew Theo cared for him as one of the only ones in this damned place. Did Eddy owe him that much?
"Okay", Eddy sighed, "one beer. Then I'm gone!"
Theo's face lit up. "Great! Yes! You're not gonna regret it!"

Turned out Eddy did regret it. That awful drink managed to give him a nasty headache, so when Eddy returned home at a reasonable time for once thanks to that stupid gathering preventing long working hours, Eddy felt like a freight train had hit him twice. He glanced at the computer on his desk as he stepped through the front door of his apartment, but couldn't bring himself to stare at any screens any more, even if it was for personal matters.
"Violin", he muttered to himself, threw his briefcase on the coffee table and grabbed the case in the corner. With a glass of water in the other hand, Eddy sat down on his bed and opened his case. The warm, brown colour shimmering in the light greeted Eddy and despite the dull pain in his skull, he smiled. He'd actually looked forward to this moment.

Gently, he loosened the straps, took out his instrument and plucked the strings to check if they were in tune. What should he play? There were a bunch of pieces floating around his mind, filling him with different melodies, but none of them spoke to him in a manner that he wanted to actually make them come alive.
Eddy tried to think back to his dream, tried to remember the sweet tune he'd heard on his side of the mirror, the one Brett had played. He couldn't really place it into a genre or time period. Certainly, it had to be something more modern?
What key had it been in? What was the beginning note? A? B? It did go down first, before there was a high note, right? He positioned the violin on his shoulder, took his bow and tried to recreate the motif. Thanks to his perfect pitch, it didn't take Eddy long to find the correct notes and soon enough, he was playing the sort of bittersweet, melancholic melody.

It was beautiful, letting his violin sing the piece Brett had played and Eddy'd never heard before. And yet, even though Eddy knew he got the melody right and it wasn't a difficult piece, his playing wasn't nearly as sweet and clean as Brett's. Figured, since Brett had studied music and Eddy hadn't played for ages.

The tune was short. Just right for a tired Eddy to rediscover his instrument again without being totally beat afterwards. When Eddy drew the last note, he found himself smiling fondly and being more relaxed than he had been all day.

Playing violin on a daily basis, Eddy had missed this. Dearly. He sighed deeply as he laid his instrument onto his lap and stared at it for a long time.

If he had followed his heart back then, would things have been different?

Would Eddy still feel so numb, so lonely, so very tired of life even though he was just in his late twenties, having a stable job and living in a vibrant, exciting city?

Eddy didn't know of course. No one ever would and he guessed it didn't really make sense to ponder about it. However, he couldn't help but think back to the phone call with Belle this morning. How she'd said she was sorry that she hadn't supported him more and that there had to be more to life than just following a career.

Eddy knew all of this. But back then, following his heart had been deemed as a "a useless childhood dream destined to fail". Images from a pretty nasty discussion, or fight rather, re-emerged from somewhere deep within where Eddy had put a tight lock around and he shook his head vigorously in order to banish them. No need to dwell in the past, was there?

With another deep sigh, Eddy put his violin away. "Alright, Brett Yang", he said into the empty room, to no one particular, really, "let's see if we'll meet again tonight."