Calamitous Love - jegulus

Plan in action

James was putting together his plan on getting the black brothers to meet each other in their animagus forms when he heard Sirius entering their dorm room.

"Pads you okay? You look unwell."

But he ignored James and went straight to their bathroom.
Odd but James didn't know how to help and decided to leave it be for now, not wanting to upset him further.

What he didn't know was that Sirius was tired. Tired of school, of his family, of whatever feeling was currently taking over. He felt like this every year around Christmas and normally he was able to hide it but he just couldn't.

He felt like shit. This year would have been the last Christmas with his family before running away. And his family didn't even want him home. They obviously didn't know about his plan but every year he felt more and more unwanted.

At breakfast one morning he saw Regulus receive an invitation to the Black family Christmas dinner party and he didn't want that to bother him but it did.

Regulus Black was the golden child so to speak. Though his parents were strict with both of them, they let him off a lot and made sure to parade him around. It was hard for him to believe Regulus didn't want to be apart of that.

The three of them would make a perfect family. Regulus didn't want to run away, he could be safe there. He didn't need his big brother. And knowing that hurt him.

He missed their full moon meet up and had been ignoring his friends, not wanting this sadness to catch on to them as well. So here he was, sulking in the bathroom. And still a bit upset at James for skipping their prancing session.

"Pads...Please let me use the bathroom"

And of course James would somehow interrupt that.

"Use a different one." He said with his hoarse voice, having had shed a few tears.

"Are you crying??"

And with that James broke into the bathroom and stood next to Sirius, looking into the mirror.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I'm fine, just take a piss and leave."
He didn't need James fixing his problems right now, he wanted to distance himself from the world

But James wasn't completely dumb, he knew how Sirius felt about his family, especially near the holidays. He mentally slapped himself for not realizing sooner.

Holding Sirius' arm and looking at him in the mirror he smiled just a bit trying to defuse some tension.

"Sirius you're like a brother to me and I know you well enough to know when not to leave you alone."

But Sirius didn't react, trying to stop his feelings from showing.

"I didn't think it would hurt like this. God James they love him. They're creating this perfect little family and it hurts."

Being around Regulus, James had learnt an ton of things. Like that Regulus felt so much pressure to live up to his parents standard that he'd destroy himself so his brother wouldn't have to. He also learnt that their parents only really showed Regulus some care in front of others. He wasn't sure how Regulus really felt about his parents but he knew he was dreading going back, staying at Hogwarts until that odd dinner.

"You have your family Sirius, you're a marauder and an honorary Potter. And Regulus always needs you...He just doesn't show it."

Obviously Sirius didn't really believe his deerest dorm mate about his brother still needing him but he wanted to. Though he knew thoughts like that would make things more difficult next year.