Calamitous Love - jegulus

Hold my hand

When Sirius left the dorm, Regulus tried to follow but James stopped him. They both went to a quiet hallway, not caring about getting to class anymore.

Regulus hated to admit when he had made a mistake, he hated knowing he disappointed his brother, his Astral. He knew it would hurt Sirius when he found out but a small part of him just hoped he'd understand. He was getting better, right?

"Love, I know this is hard but he needs a bit of time." James' heart broke a bit when saying that, it felt like he was defending Sirius' actions when a small part of him blamed Sirius for this too. And that made him feel even worse.

"This is all my fault James. I shouldn't have gotten the mark and I should've taken better care of Sirius."

"Don't say that."

Regulus hugged James tightly. Everything kept going wrong.

"What's even your plan? What are we going to do?"

"Well I thought we could get some breakfast and-"

Regulus playfully slapped his shoulder,"I meant with Sirius and with the whole order thing."

James smiled, but he had no idea.
"Talk to Minnie. She's full of brilliant ideas."

"What about summer? My parents will probably force me to-"

"No. I do have an idea for that but I can't tell you just yet."

Did he actually have an idea? Not exactly, but if you don't have a plan, it can't go wrong.

"How are you holding up so well?"
Regulus was genuinely confused, how was James still sane?

"I have you on my mind all the time. And I of course always have brilliant ideas to keep me occupied." He said cockily.

"Come on James. You quit being quidditch captain-"
"I'm happy just being on the field"
"Sirius is a fucking mess-"
"And my best friend"
"Your mum doesn't know who you are-"
"We're fixing that"
"Your dad just died."

Regulus stopped his little rant and squeezed James' hands. He desperately wanted James to talk about what was going on in his head, because it was slowly worrying.
James didn't have an answer to his last statement. Yeah his dad was dead and it hurt beyond anything else, but he didn't want to worry Regulus more.

"I love you so much but if you keep going on like this, you're going to burn yourself out love. It's okay to take a break from everything."

"But the order-"

"Can wait."

James knew he was only trying to help, but it felt like an attack. Keeping himself busy was what he did best.

"What about you? You have to take so much shit-"

"You're always there for me, I want to be there for you Jamie. And anyways, I'm used to taking shit from Sirius. But you're handling a lot and you aren't even taking a second to just relax!"
Regulus spoke softly, trying to not scare James.

It had been a while since he felt someone genuinely concerned about him. Since someone acknowledged his pain and stress, it felt nice in an odd way.

"He wouldn't have wanted me to cry and my mother would want me fighting for my friends, so that's what I'm doing."
He tried smiling, he was happy to be keeping himself occupied and there was so much going on that he didn't have much time to focus on himself.

"Let me do something for you James."

Normally James was the one with surprises meant to distract Regulus, unless unplanned surprises. So obviously he was excited and giddy again.

"Give me 20 minutes, I'll pick you up from your dorm." He said with a mischievous smile that he definitely got from being with James.

"The star student isn't worried about missing class then?" James teased.

Regulus gave him a light shove , eager to do something for his boyfriend. James pulled him close, kissing him softly before heading back into his dorm. Though Regulus was surprised James Potter wasn't being a nosy git and pestering him about what he was up to, maybe he was finally growing up.

"Moony?"

Once James walked into his dorm he was Remus say looking panicked with Peter sitting opposite from him on the other bed.

"James" he said looking up, his face neutral again.

Maybe if James were better at reading facial expressions, he would've questioned this and would've been able to help sooner but alas he didn't.

"Where's the marauders map? I want to know where Sirius went." James said, he was worried about him and he knew the others were too.

Peter pulled the map from his side drawn and handed it to James. Once swearing, the map opened and he sat next to Peter, ushering Remus to join but he didn't.

"I don't see him."

Remus looked over, worry leaving his face.

"He probably went to Hogsmead to calm down, he'll be okay."

James was still worried and scattered the map again and again, completely ignoring his actual reason to look at the map. He was going to watch Regulus and see what he was up to.

"James I know Regulus is running around the castle and he's headed back to our dorm now, put it away or you'll look like a creep."
Remus said, Peter still staying silent.
"I'll keep an eye out for Sirius."

"But-"

"Go James, no need to worry so much."
Peter said in a comforting manner.

Just then there was a knock and James ran to the door. Regulus rolled his eyes, grabbed his hand and lead him to their destination.

"Peter what is going on?"
Remus said once he was sure James was gone.

"I didn't want it all to go this way, believe me."
His voice was rather emotionless but Remus could still tell he was nervous and sincere. He hoped.

"What's your plan? Because whatever you're doing isn't working, if you just-"

"No. Just join the Order Remus and nothing will happen."

Remus didn't recognise Peter in that moment.
If he did, all this may have been harder to comprehend.

Once Peter thought he had gotten his message across to Remus, he got up and left. But of course Remus was a few steps ahead, though he wish he wasn't. He had to find Sirius, the girls, Barty and Evan. Anyone who would listen.
He was just hoping James would understand.