Calamitous Love - jegulus

Effie to the rescue

After they both got up, James told Regulus that he wanted to send a quick letter to his mum and that he'd meet him at breakfast. Regulus didn't think anything of it, having heard that there are some kids who willingly contact their parents.
But it was strange as James left whilst still in his pjs.

He couldn't help it, he needed his Mums help. And she would be happy to hear about Regulus.
Since it was still early, most people were still in bed and the owlery was empty. James had his own owl but shared her with his friends who are muggleborns or are just not able to get their own.
He tied the letter properly to his owl, Mildred who wasn't too happy about being woken up.

"Millie I know, but this is important."

Giving her some treats and pats, the owl flied away. James knew his mum was reply quite fast and he would probably receive a response by lunch time.
He felt at ease, things were going to get better!
And with that he skipped his way to breakfast.

Meanwhile Remus had to talk to Sirius.

Last night Remus found Sirius in some secret passage with some secret stash. He was completely off it. And it pained Remus to admit but he didn't even recognise him.
He tried talking to him but Sirius refused to say anything. So his absolutely wonderful boyfriend just took take of him, making blankets appear and stayed with him.
Now that it was morning, Remus wanted an explanation. He wanted his Sirius back too.

Shaking him awake lightly Remus tried so hard to stay level headed. He was angry but that wouldn't get him anywhere, he needed to stay calm.

Sirius was awake but he didn't want to be. He could remember everything but he'd have rather forgotten.

"God I fucked up.."
He sat up and looked up at Remus.

"That's all you've got to say?"

He shook his said but couldn't think of the right words so he stayed silent.

"Sirius what is going on? You're a caring person who'd never hurt anyone. You need to start talking."

"I- god Remus I wish I knew."
And in that moment Remus sat the half empty cigarette box as Sirius was pulling a new one out.

"Is that the box I gave you yesterday? Since when do you smoke so many in a day?"
Remus was shook. What was going on? What had happened to his Sirius.

"Oh lighten up Moony, we all do it." He said it in a joking way which just made Remus more concerned.

What he didn't know, what nobody knew is that Sirius was at his breaking point. He didn't dare tell anyone but in the summer before this fifth year his mother had an engagement arranged for Regulus. But Sirius heard about it first and stepped in, he wasn't dumb though he managed to break it all off and ruin his mothers chances of doing so again. But his mother was furious. Which is why she'd been sending awful letters to him. These letters seemed to always arrive when he was alone and in them would be the cruelest messages always pushing him past the limits. And when he had heard them wanting Regulus back home, he knew.

Would they make him think the same of Sirius? Have they found a way to marry him off? Would they force him to get the dark mark? Sirius didn't know but he was trying to protect his brother. In these letters he realized quickly that his mother must have some spy telling her everything because she knew about his brothers relationship.

He didn't dare say anything though. He was traumatised. He was that little five year old again, crying alone in his one safe spot just wanting to be held, to be safe. To be loved.

In his mind he was protecting his brother by separating him and James. He was protecting James by trying to get him uninvolved. And he was going to be the villain if it meant Regulus would hate him and could choose his own path. Because deep down he knew that he would never be free of his mother but  Regulus could. And just maybe he was angry at his brother, jealous because right now way too much was going on and Sirius was having a hard time managing.

In Divination in his fourth he saw one single vision, he knew that only one Black brother was destined to escape and he would give his fucking all if it meant that that was Regulus.
He dropped the class after that.

But nobody could find out. Sirius wasn't meant to be the hero, he was the rebel, the prisoner.

By now it was lunch time, since it was Saturday the day seemed to go by much slower. Regulus went off to spend time with Barty and Evan and James waited by his window for his mothers response.

And of course it arrived as quickly as James could imagine delivered by a very tired Mille.

"Thanks!"

———————-

My dearest James,

I'm glad you enjoyed it and hope the rest of your special day was just as well.

That's wonderful James! He will have to come over soon and your dad will be so thrilled to hear the news! All I want for you is to be happy and I hope to soon meet this seemingly incredible boy who makes you so happy.

Sirius has always had a complicated relationship with the slytherin house and therefore we must be understanding. Though there will be consequences if it continues. I will have a Word with him when you're home and will send a letter to him tomorrow morning. He must have a reason.

I will never pressure you to tell me who this young man is but it may be worth considering who he is to Sirius. Sirius is an intelligent, stubborn young man who still needs time to grow and heal, so let's treat him as such like we always do.

The two of you are practically brothers, have been since first year and there must be more to it because I can't imagine Sirius trying to deliberately hurt his brother. I will talk to him.

All my love and then some more!
Take care of yourself and please use protection because condoms protect you from more than just pregnancies!

I love you my Jamsie boy,
Your mum

———————

Had his mothers letter given him some reassurance? Yes maybe. And it felt amazing knowing that she knew. He really hoped all would be well, it had to be.