Against the dark Hearts

Broken Souls

This chapter contains self-harm behavior.

Natty had been right, Ominis had told me that the consequence for Sebastian's outburst had resulted in detention and a one-month ban from Hogsmeade.

Not that it would stop him. We all knew various secret passages to sneak out, and during that month, I saw Sebastian in Hogsmeade more than once, but we didn't speak.

Imelda and Poppy had talked some sense into me. From an outsider's perspective, it was better if I stayed away from the tall, brunette Slytherin with the beautiful freckles.

He really is a dream.

I sighed, my thoughts weren't as easily silenced as I had wished.

Today, I was back in Hogsmeade. I had started helping some of the shop owners with ingredients I grew in my Room of Requirement to earn some extra money.

J. Pippins was currently brewing some potions in the back of his shop when I entered.

"Mr. Pippins! It's just me, I brought your ingredients!"

He came out from the back room and dried his hands.

"Miss Hawkins, always a pleasure!" he said cheerfully.

I handed him the ingredients. "I have to go again, I only have a free period and thought I'd bring you the things!" I said hurriedly.

"Your payment!", Mr. Pippins handed me a handful of galleons. I thanked him and rushed out of the shop.

Outside the shop, I ran into a tall figure. "Oh, sorry," I looked into dark green eyes. I wasn't the only one with a free period. "Sebastian," his gaze softened. "Hello, Elisabeth," he said, smiling at me hesitantly.

Oh, that damn smile.

"You seem to be in a hurry," he noted. I fidgeted on the spot. "Yeah, I wanted to grab lunch," I said hesitantly.

This was so weird. I couldn't talk to Sebastian as if everything was normal, but it was simply impossible to completely ignore him. We were, after all, in the same classes.

"Listen," I knew what he wanted to say, but I didn't want to have this conversation now. "I really have to go, see you later, Sebastian," I said hastily and hurried away, leaving him standing in front of the shop.

I ran towards Hogwarts, not even lying about the lunch. Even though the period wasn't over yet, and the food wasn't on the tables yet.

After I had gained enough distance, I slowed down my pace. I was running away from him and my feelings because anything else would have been stupid.

You're going to lose it if you keep this up.

My reason had long left me. I would sneak out of the dormitory at night just to think and cry on the astronomy tower. Sometimes I would spend the nights using Diffindo on myself, cutting my skin open. It was easier to feel that pain and sleep dreamlessly than to endure the nightmares.

If there was a way to use Crucio on myself, I would have done it too. I was at a point where I didn't care how much pain I endured, I believed I deserved it anyway. I was responsible for the pain of several people and several deaths. Professor Fig was dead because of me, and I had survived, and that made me feel guilty.

One night, I was alone again on the astronomy tower platform when I heard footsteps. I used a disillusionment charm so that no one would discover me, I didn't want any trouble. I pressed my lips together. The pain in my thigh from the cut I had just made was strong.

Sebastian Sallow stepped onto the platform, wearing his school cloak and pajamas. I was glad he couldn't see me. I was only wearing my bloomers and a nightgown. He leaned over the railing and stared at the sky.

We had both returned to the scene of the crime.

Blood ran down my leg and dripped onto the ground, I just hoped he wouldn't see it, I didn't dare move.

Please don't look here.

However, Sebastian had eyes only for the cloudless sky. I watched him for a while and felt like a stalker. Then he fell to his knees and a sob escaped him. He was crying.

Oh my dearest.

I looked at him in shock, his hands were clenched into fists and his body was tense.

Blood was still dripping down my leg. I had to get away before he noticed the bloodstain on the ground and discovered me. So I moved quietly towards the stairs, but I stumbled.

I took a sharp breath, the ground was dirty and I had landed on it with my thigh, and Sebastian had heard me and the charm had worn off.

"Elisabeth? Is that you?" he asked. I turned onto my back, blood was spread over my thigh, "Hello Sebastian," I said with a pained look, he had risen to his feet. His eyes stared at my leg.