Against the dark Hearts

Chapter 38

This chapter contains adult content and suicidal behavior.

Several days passed where I couldn't leave Feldcroft. Sebastian had taken my wand and hidden it somewhere I couldn't find it. He had also taken my bag and watched me constantly. I began to hate him.

I knew he did it because he wanted me to come to my senses before I did anything rash, but I was even angrier than before. I felt trapped, and in a way, I was.

I tried to stay up later at night so I could have a chance to take his wand, but I couldn't do it. I fell asleep every time before him, and he was always awake before me. Eventually, I even began to believe that he never slept, just to keep an eye on me.

I didn't want him near me, but that was impossible in the small house. I had refused to eat and bathe, hoping that he would give in eventually, but it didn't help. I suffered more than he did.

"You should take a bath," he said, interrupting my thoughts. He held out a towel and pointed to the door that led to the bathroom.

"No," I said shortly and turned my head away from him. During the days we had spent together here, I realized that Sebastian Sallow was capable of being very rough.

"So the hard way it is, you chose this yourself," he said, grabbing me. I started to scream and struggled, hitting him hard in the face. But I didn't see that until I was lying in the bathtub with my clothes.

"You damn bastard," I cried out and stood up. My skirt was wet, my sweater too. I hadn't changed my clothes in about three days, and I didn't smell particularly pleasant.

Sebastian looked at me seriously. "Do I have to bathe you, or can you manage on your own?" I looked away, I didn't want to see him. I hated him for this.

"I can manage on my own," I said meekly. He left, so I could peel the wet clothes off my body.

The water was still hot. He had drawn me a bath, knowing that I would end up in it anyway.

On the one hand, I was also glad, I could hardly stand my own smell, but I would never have admitted it.

During this time, Sebastian had taken care of me. Yes, he had treated me like a better prisoner, but that was because he didn't want anything to happen to me.

And despite the fact that he loved me and only wanted me to be safe, I did what I did.

I dunked my head underwater and held my breath until my body forced me to resurface. I did it once. Then I did it again. Then again. I did it until I got tired, and I wanted to keep going. I wanted to keep going until I fell asleep and didn't wake up.

A knock interrupted my routine. "Darling, you should come out now. I've prepared something to eat." I rolled my eyes and dove back under. I didn't hear Sebastian knock on the door again and wait for a response. My body seemed to give up, finally. But when I thought I had finally made it, a strong hand pulled me out of the water.

Sebastian looked at me panic-stricken, "Please tell me you didn't just try what I think you did," he whispered, holding my face in his hand. I couldn't answer, couldn't say anything, because the pain in his eyes left me speechless.

I looked away so as not to have to look at him, "Can't I ever leave you alone, Elisabeth? Do I have to be constantly afraid that you won't be alive anymore if I close my eyes for a moment?" The pain in his voice was even more unbearable than the pain in his eyes. I felt so bad, I couldn't look at him.

"I-"

"I'm going to stay here now until you're done bathing," he said expressionlessly, "Then we'll eat." I didn't respond to the command, I just did what he asked and washed myself.

Sebastian didn't look at me, he had gotten a book that he was reading while sitting on a chair next to the bathtub. Nevertheless, I still felt watched, even though he tried not to look at me. I could still catch him a few times as he surveyed my body, even though he tried to be inconspicuous about it.

"I feel your eyes on me, Sallow," I said, the first sentence I said that didn't sound like I was giving in.

He cleared his throat and leaned back, now looking at me closely and without even trying to be inconspicuous about it.

I looked him in the eyes.

The situation changed so quickly that I didn't know what was happening. Suddenly the air was charged and a competition arose. Who would hold out longer? Who would give in first? I sat on my knees and leaned over the edge of the bathtub, still fixing him with my gaze.

"I like looking at you, Darling," he whispered and leaned forward again, so that his face was only a few inches away from mine. A few wet strands hung in front of my face and water dripped from them onto his pants. His lips were still so perfect except for the wound I had inflicted on him, and he bit down on them.

I gave in.

I leaned far enough forward so that my wet face touched his and our lips could meet. I was weak, just didn't have myself under control. Before I knew what was happening, Sebastian lifted me out of the bathtub and his hands were under my butt. His clothes were now also wet, but I was already busy pulling the sweater he was wearing over his head so that our bare skin touched.

He carried me to the bed, we left water everywhere, dripping on me, and then I was already under him.

This was not as gentle as the first time in the Room of Requirement or the two times last week after that, this was unbridled, pure desire.

I was glad that the potion I had gotten before the holidays lasted for a month, because I wasn't able to perform magic now.

"Say you want me," he whispered in my ear, I couldn't answer fast enough, "Y-yes," I stuttered out.

As soon as his pants were on the ground, Sebastian was already inside me, I moaned.

He moved quickly and hard as I buried my hands in his hair and pulled him closer to me. I felt like I was burning, but it was a pleasant kind of pain. He sat up and grabbed me by the hips, thrusting even harder. I gripped the blanket beneath us tightly and gasped.

"Sebastian," I gasped, barely able to breathe as he moved inside me so unmercifully, he also let out a moan.

Just a moment ago, I had hated him for locking me up here, while now I welcomed the fact that I couldn't escape. I didn't want to leave, I wanted to be here and endure the sweet pain he was inflicting on me.

As one of his hands left my hip and touched my center, I knew I wouldn't be able to take it much longer, he knew what he was doing. He knew how to touch me so that I lost my mind.

The feeling came quickly and overwhelmingly as I reached a climax that made my body shake. Sebastian moaned loudly as he felt me clench around him.

He withdrew from me and turned me over onto my stomach before moving inside me once again.

When he finally reached his climax, he pressed me tightly against him and collapsed on me, exhausted.

I breathed heavily, feeling his panting breath on my neck and then coldness as he got up and went to the bathroom.

He took care of the aftermath, as he had done every time before.

Then he lay back down with me and wrapped his arms around me, I looked at him, studying his face. Neither of us said anything and we just lay there.