RIGHT NOW
“Miss Lara, kailangan ko po kayong makausap.”
I was determined to state everything that Iʼve noticed this past few days in the library. I couldnʼt stand this anymore.
“About what, Frankie?” Inayos ni Miss ang lahat ng gamit sa desk niya bago ako harapin.
Thankfully, wala na si Marcus sa library. Tapos na ang duty namin. Bago siya umalis, tinanong niya ako kung ayos lang bang sabay na kaming pumunta sa klase namin dahil magkalapit lang naman ang building namin. I said no. Well, wala naman siyang magagawa dahil sinabi ko na kailangan kong kausapin si Miss Lara. If he knew it was something personal or something that regards my feelings, he would stay with me here until Iʼm done.
“About po sa library visitors.” I almost hesitated. “Napapansin niyo naman po siguro na dumadami na ʼyung bumibisita sa library.”
“Yes and thatʼs good!” she was nodding. “Sa ilang taon kong nagbabantay dito, iilan lang talaga ang pupumunta rito. Bilang lang sa daliri, sa totoo lang.” she explained.
I scratched the back of my elbow. She was boosted up and now I donʼt want to ruin her good mood. But isnʼt reporting all my notices the reason why Iʼm here in the first place? I need to be consistent with this decision I came into.
“Miss, the students that visits the library were only here because they know Zachary is here.” may pagdiin na sambit ko. This was the first time in my entire life that I talked with Miss Lara this serious.
“I donʼt see anything wrong with that, Frankie.” she frowned at me like I was just putting everything I see in exaggeration.
“They make noises every time and they arenʼt using the library properly. They donʼt even use the computers right, they donʼt follow the library rules, and neither do they borrow the books...!” I sounded as if I was ranting. One more word and Iʼll sound rude.
I badly wanted to tell her that they were disrespecting me. It hurts to admit because I might only be overreacting to things. It might be because I overthink a lot.
“Hayaan mo, ako ang bahala sa kanila. Pagsasabihan ko sila.” tanging sinabi ni Miss Lara.
Napabuntong hininga ako. Hindi na ako umangal at hindi na ako nagsalita pa. Susundin ko na lang ang sasabihin niya dahil hindi naman ako puwedeng umakto ng sarili ko lang lalo na at studyante lang din ako.
Bahala na...
— MISSED PAGES —
Dumating ang break time. Nitong mga nakaraang araw, dumadalas na ang pagsabay naming kumain ni Lili. She was always there for me and I am very thankful for that. Pagkatapos naming bumili ng pagkain sa cafeteria ay pumunta kami sa studio ng Aces. Doon kami kumakain.
“You looked so stressed, Frankie.” sabi ni Liana nang umupo siya sa tabi ko.
Lumingon ako at nakita kong nagbago ang ekspresyon sa mukha niya. Kanina kasi ay malapad ang ngiti niya—she was always smiling. Ngayon ay nakanguso na siya habang pinagmamasdan ang ekspresyon sa mukha ko.
“I am.” I admitted. Wala akong maitatago sa kaniya. She had been my best friend ever since I was introduced to her.
“Anong nangyari?” tanong niya.
“Sinabi ko kay Miss Lara ʼyung mga nangyari sa library.” sambit ko habang nilalagay ko sa table ang mga pagkain namin.
“Hala!” she gasped. “Anong nangyari sa library? May nag-away ba?” she seemed a little into gossips huh.
Umiling ako at mahinang natawa. “Wala naman.” sagot ko. “Recently, the library had been in a very different shape. Napansin ko kasi na naging sobrang gulo na. Ang ibig kong sabihin, parang hindi na library ang turing ng mga studyante.”
Alam kong napansin din niya iyon dahil kung tama ako ng pagkakaalala, dalawang beses siyang pumunta sa library sa buong Linggo na ʼto.
“Then what did Miss Lara said about that?” she asked, innocently.
“Sabi niya, pagsasabihan niya ang mga studyante.” bumagsak ang balikat ko sa pagsabi nʼon. I was hopeless.
“Eh bakit parang sobrang bothered ka pa rin?”
Dahil sa tanong niya, mas lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko at bigla kong naramdaman na parang kakapusin ako ng hininga. “Paano kung imbis na umayos ay mas lalo pang gumulo nang dahil sa akin? Paano kung isipin nila na nagsumbong ako? Paano kung pagtulungan nila akong lahat?”
I was aware that I am overthinking at the moment. What can I do? I couldnʼt help it.
“Hush now, Frankie. ʼWag mo nang isipin ʼyun.” Inusog niya ang upuan niya palapit sa akin at hinaplos niya ang likod ko para pakalmahin ako. “Makikinig sila kay Miss Lara at babalik din sa dati ang library.” she assured.
I love it how she was always positive and full of hope. It somehow helped me cool down my thoughts.
“Sana nga...”
— MISSED PAGES —
Monday came faster than I anticipated.
I was expecting that when I arrive at the library, good news would be the first that comes to my hearing. Sana nga ay napagsabihan na ni Miss Lara ang mga studyanteng hindi sumusunod sa mga patakaran sa loob ng library.
Hinatid ako ng driver namin sa campus. Habang nasa biyahe, hindi ko maiwasang kabahan at mapaisip. Ayaw ko mag-isip ng kung anu-ano dahil makakasama lamang iyon sa akin pero sadyang mahirap talagang pigilan.
When I stepped inside the gate of the campus, all I can see was those students who were eyeing on me. They were looking at me like I was someone suspicious, like I was someone weird. They donʼt like it. They donʼt like the idea that Iʼm here in the campus. Why are they looking at me like I donʼt belong here?
“Siya ba ʼyun? ʼYung kasama ni Marcus sa library lagi?”
“Halata mo naman talagang gusto niyang solohin si Marcus eh.”
“Such a gatekeeper.”
When I met every each of their gazes, everyoneʼs voice started getting louder to my ears. It was deafening.
“Hindi naman siya kagalingan sumayaw at lalong hindi siya kagandahan para pansinin ni Marcus.”
“So true! And I heard, she was so rude as a librarian.”
I hurried to the library to avoid hearing their murmurs and gossips. It was loud... The way they said bad things about me, it kept on repeating inside my head.
“Masisira ang reputation ng SDA library kung ganoon ang behavior niya.”
“If sheʼll only ruin the schoolʼs reputation, she shouldnʼt be here.”
They donʼt like me here. They really think I donʼt deserve to be here.
Halos kumawala na sa dibdib ko ang puso ko sa sobrang bilis ng tibok nito. Mas lumalakas at umuulit ng umuulit ang mga masasakit na mga naririnig ko. I ran faster to stop hearing their voices. I donʼt deserve to hear all of those. I donʼt deserve to be treated like this.
I was sweating and panting as soon as I arrived at the library. Hinahabol ko ang hininga ko habang hinahanap si Marcus. He was sitting there at our table with his friends. They all looked at me... Including Marcus. The moment I met his eyes, my chest felt tighter and tighter and I couldnʼt even look away. I froze for a moment as I absorbed all the realizations.
Please...
Marcus... I need you right now.
BINABASA MO ANG
Missed Pages ✔︎
Novela Juvenil[COMPLETED] TO HEAL SERIES BOOK 1 August 17, 2022 - August 29, 2023
