Cherry Blossom

It Can't Be Just Dying

Lena's POV

I don't know why I asked that. I guess it was just in my mind. But there's no wrong answer to that honestly, I just wanted to know so I know what I can say or not for now.

"Well, I... I honestly didn't think about it yet." She said honestly.

"That's okay, I was just asking to know, but I'm not telling you what to do or whatever, I respect whatever you decided in regard to your child, Stef." I said, while playing with her soft hair.

"I know, love. I would tell her eventually, we could even do it together, but umm... maybe just wait a little bit? You know we... this is very new, it happened so fast and I'm happy about it, love, don't get me wrong, but I just feel like we should learn more about each other first. Be somewhat... solid first." She explains softly as I listened to her carefully.

"I totally agreed, plus I'm her teacher, so yeah, we have to be careful. I'm glad we had this conversation though." I smiled.

"Me too, baby." she said before pecking my lips. Then I stood up from her laps to finish preparing our late diner.

"Well, on that note, since we were supposed to go on a date and actually learn more about each other like you said. And we instead ended up making love for literally hours..." I stated as she smiled while I was speaking and then raised an eyebrow.

"Are you complaining?" she joked.

"Absolutely not. You're a good fuck." I said smirking at her.

"Oh my God." she laughed as I handed her sandwich.

"So. As I was saying, before you interrupt me..." I started again, giving her a look and she smiled wildly at me.

"I think we should do as if we were on a date right now and play as if we didn't taste each other already." I suggest as she laughed again.

"Damn, you have a way to put it, woman." She said biting into her food.

"What? That's exactly what happened. Now, Miss Foster, that I didn't see the fabulous breasts of yet, where were you born?" I asked playfully as she shook her head at me for my little comment as I giggle yet again.

"I was born here, in West Virginia actually. Then I grew up, give a hell of a time to my parents when I was in my teens and they returned it to me well, so I went as far away as I could, which you know now it's San Diego. I got my GED and entered the police academy without telling anyone not even my father who was a police officer as well. Fun fact: I actually told them I wanted to be a doctor so they would leave me alone and then I visited them one day with my uniform on, which earned me a slap in the face by my mother." I said smiling all along, and probably finding this funning now that time has passed.

"Wow, you were a wild one after all. I thought you were a shy timid girl from the first vibe I got." I said smiling as well, loving immensely that we were sharing, even though there are things about myself that I will skip, at least for now.

"Oh no, shy wasn't me baby, I was terrible. But yeah, Frankie made a softy out of me, which can be annoying." She said, almost blushing at this, for I think she likes to come off strong and tough.

"I love your softy side, it's what made me fall in love with you." I blurt out as she blushed even more and smiled at me, looking so damn cute.

"Enough about me, what about you, where was baby Lena born, hum?" she asked to make me forget about her so she could stop blushing.

"Well, let's see... I was born in San Diego to my father Stewart, the sweetest man in the world and my mother Dana who is... well let's say a proud and dignified woman. We were a wealthy family, and a respected one, so I had to fit in, and behave, and show the example and never make mistake, be polite, stay at my place, have good grades, good appreciations from my teachers, not get involved with boys, because obviously girls weren't even an option, and of course I was none of those things. I just physiologically couldn't because of my high potential, so I had to face the consequences which was basically be a disappointment and hear about it every day." I said all at once as Stef listen intensely, even though I didn't plane to blurt all this out like this, and I'm not used to talk like that, but I guess with Stef I was more comfortable that I had ever be.

"Wow... that was... I.. didn't expect that, you look so sane as compares to me, I... I mean this is all trauma, love, I'm so sorry you had to live like this... that's... that's just not right baby." she said, taking my hand in her and looking at me with her sensitive eyes, full of compassion, and let me tell you, I didn't get that kind of compassion very often, quite the opposite.

"It's okay. I... when they finally understood that I wasn't "misbehaving" on purpose they eventually took me to see a specialist who explain to them why I was like I was, and then they put me in therapy which was much needed and for years I went until I eventually understood that I had to get out of San Diego and start over. I still speak to them, and we visit each other, I just needed to be away, have a separation from them because... well even if they didn't know, they didn't treat me well, and that sticked." I explained, without going in the detail of the real reason why I mentally needed to move out of there.

"Are you better now?" she said, bringing my hand to her lips to kiss it softly.

"I am. I have a job that I love so dearly, I have a home that I love, and now I even have a sexy ass girlfriend, how cool is that?" I smile softly and winked at her indicating her that I'm fine now. I might still be processing some of the things that happened to me, and maybe one day I'll share those with her as well, but for now, I'm pretty happy which I never thought, in a million years, that it was something that I could ever say.

"I love you." she simply said which was all I needed honestly.

"So, now that you're a cop, do you work with your father?" I asked, for I never saw or heard about her father now that I think about it.

"Well, pretty hard for him to boss me around now that he's dead." She jokes as I almost chocked on my water, for that one I didn't see coming.

"Oh, I'm sorry Stef... I didn't know...I..." I started stuttering even though her joke kind of threw me for a loop.

"Lena it's okay, we joke about it now. The old Frank was a big funny guy, and he never wanted us to be sad when we talk about him. He knew he was going to die, he had cancer, and he made us promise to always crack a joke whenever we talk about him. I'm not saying it wasn't hard at first, but we forced ourselves a little at the beginning, and now we gladly laugh and imagine him laughing with us from wherever he is." She said with such light into her eyes when she talks about her father, and it made me smile.

"That's sweet. So you named Frankie after him then."

"Oh no, that's the funny part. She was already named Francesca, and since she was still a baby, they asked me if I wanted to change it and name her myself, but I told them no. I loved that name, and the fact that we could call her Frankie always made me and my father very happy. He died when she was two, but all the time he was there, he loved that little girl like he never loved anything in this life. He was sick for a long time, but I think Frankie made him hang on to life longer, he fought to be around and at least seen her make her first steps."

"You miss him." I state seeing the nostalgia in her eyes and hearing it in her voice as well.

"I do, every day, but that's okay. I know he's somewhere, maybe watching or I don't know, but I know he's not in pain anymore and... well, I rather believe that we'll find each other again someday." She said, still with a genuine smile on her lips, and I think I've fell even harder for her at that moment as my eyes stated to water for some reason.

"Do you really think that's how it works?" I ask, my voice threatening to crack.

"Well, I like to think about it like that, it makes me feel good and less... scared, I guess. Because I don't see the point if we're just on earth to die and that's the end of it, like, that's... I don't know, I don't like that version. So either we go in heaven or we reincarnate or whatever, but I think every souls that exist or existed at some point, either are the same, or coexist in way us mortal can't even begin to understand. It can't be just dying; it must be something after. As least that's what I chose to belief." She explains to me as I could feel the tears running down my cheeks for never anyone present anything remotely like this to me, and I couldn't even make up something for myself to belief. All I've got growing up was "that's life, people die, get over it" and I... well, I just took it, and never questioned it, because at one point in my life I never wanted to think about those things ever.

"Aww baby, I didn't mean to make you cry." She said, standing up and wrapping her strong arms all round me.

"I'm sorry, I don't even know why I'm crying." I said, wiping my tears away.

"That's okay my love, we all need to cry a little once in a while, that's alright baby." she whispered kissing my temple softly and even I knew that this, her, could possibly heal me...