Cherry Blossom

Breaking Her Heart

Lena's POV

Almost three months passed since Frankie and I started to bond. She understands now that I gave birth to her and that I am her mother. I can tell that she likes spending time with me, and I obviously love that more than anything as well.

One thing was bothering me though, and I don't know how to talk to Stef about it...

Truth is, in my big house just for myself, I had the time and the space to dream a little, and I couldn't help but make a bedroom for Frankie. She had never spent the night, nor did we spend time alone together just the two of us...

I like Stef... I love Stef. But Frankie is my daughter too, and I feel like I have no responsibilities over her at all. Stef makes all the decisions; she decided what goes, what doesn't, and she doesn't give me a say.

I'm not even sure that she notices it. I just think she's used to work like this, and it's natural for her to do everything on her own in regard of Frankie.

For example, Frankie needed to go to the doctor for a checkup last week. And apparently, the doctor asked Stef authorization for a new vaccine. And without consulting me, she just said no and that was the end of it. I heard about it, only because Frankie said that the doctor was nice and gave her a lollipop, otherwise, I wouldn't even be aware that they went in for a checkup.

It's honestly frustrating... but what can I say... I have no rights over Frankie. Legally I'm nothing so...

It's not that I don't trust Stef, it's not that at all. She was actually right not to get Frankie vaccinated because it was some experimental thing and all that, and I wouldn't had agreed myself, but still it would have been nice, to be at least, kept in the loop.

I know I need to talk to her about that. And also, about the fact that I would like more time to bond with my daughter... alone.

It doesn't sound right to me to ask for that, but at the same time I don't see how I can really get Frankie to see me as her mother if I have no responsibilities. I know that she knows that I'm her mother, but she doesn't see me as a maternal figure, as a parent, and I can see that by the simple fact that every time she wants to do something, or want something in particular, she would always ask Stef first, even if I am the one proposing to do something together.

Of course, Stef never refuses, but I'm just as capable to make decisions for my daughter.

Now how this conversation is going to go, I have no idea. We were close to a disaster the last time we talk about money, and even though it ended well, I'm still a bit nervous when I want to talk to her about serious and concrete things.

I know I don't express myself in the best of way sometimes, even less when I'm nervous, and I absolutely don't want her to take offence or to think that I want to replace her, for that's not the case at all. I just want a place. A real one.

That's why I asked her for lunch today. Knowing that Frankie was with Sharon for their usual baking party or something like that, that Frankie loves a lot.

I asked her to come to discuss and I made some food for us before she arrived.

Now we were at the table, a silence growing for she must feel my nervousness, and I'm pretty sure that just that is making her nervous as well.

"So... you didn't ask me for lunch to spend time alone with me, right?" she jokes a bit awkwardly as I look into her eyes, and... I think I saw hope in them but decide to brush it off.

"Not really." I said honestly, even though I still love spending time with her. It's just that our conversations became heavy with my intrusion into her family, and I don't really know how to act around her anymore. Besides, we never ever dared to talk about what was happening between us before we learn that Frankie came from me.