Cherry Blossom

It's Not Fair

Stef's POV

It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do in my life. Let go. Let go of my baby. It was just one week out of two, but it's Frankie. It's like taking my heart out of my chest for a week, it hurts...

But I know I have to do it. I know I have to give Lena a chance to be a mother because that's what's best for Frankie. She needs to know her mother, it's a good thing that she doesn't have just me and my mom in the world. At least now, if something happens to me, she will have Lena right here...

Besides, Lena lost five years. So I think I can give her back some of the time that she has lost with her daughter. Plus, it's just one week, the other will make it worth it. I'll take a lot of hours the weeks where Frankie is with Lena, so I will have more time for her when it will be my turn.

Now, this conversation took place in the beginning of the week. It's time to tell Frankie now. So here we are. At my apartment with Lena after we spend the weekend doing activities again.

I don't think Frankie would take this badly, I think she would react well, for she loves Lena and spend time with her. She knows Lena is not going to take her away now, and she know that if I trust Lena, she can too.

"So honey, we have something to talk to you about."

"Don't tell me I have a third mother." She jokes before laughing hysterically as I shook my head and Lena smiled for the bad jokes... she got that from me as well.

"Okay, okay that one was funny." I said, smiling at her before I put her on my laps so she would be more attentive.

"So... we were thinking. Since you have two moms now, things are a little different, and so we wanted to know how you would feel about living one week here with me, as usual, and one week with Lena, then again one week with me, then Lena, and we would do the same every other week... would you be okay with that?" I explained and asked gently for I didn't want the same reaction we got when we first told her about Lena being her birth mom.

"Oh really?" she asked, her face lighting up.

"Yes. Would you like that?" Lena asked, smiling at her, as Frankie pulled away from me to go into Lena's arms.

"Oh yes!! I would love that! Can we start tonight?!" Frankie said very excited and hugging the hell out of Lena.

Saying that this killed my heart was an understatement for it's like I don't even matter anymore... I was expecting her to be good with it, but this...
But at least she's happy. That's all I ever wanted. And judging by Lena's face, she was very happy as well. And no matter how much it hurts, I was truly happy for them.

"Mommy?" she asked, for I didn't respond the question and I mask my sadness by a large smile and enthusiasm.

"Of course, you can start tonight!" I exclaim, felling like I was going to be sick, but as long as Frankie is okay, the rest doesn't matter.

"Stef are you sure?" Lena asked as I smiled at her and at Frankie.

"Sure!" I said before getting up before I explode in front of them.

"I'll go make your bag, baby." I said before going into her room and lock myself into it. For I needed to cry. I couldn't help myself. I know it was wrong, that I shouldn't be doing this right now when they are still here, but I couldn't keep it together any longer, and I know that tonight is going to be a long one, and a drunken one as well...

At one point I had to dry my tears quickly before my eyes become swollen. Then I make Frankie's bag as fast as I could for, now I wanted them gone. I wanted to be alone so I could cry, and just sleep the pain away and stop faking that I was okay and fine because I wasn't.