Teach Me How to Kiss |Jake Sim|

21

It was a mistake...

I shouldn't have even let him touch me that way. Why did I let him touch me that way?

You're so stupid Deva!

She was regretting every single one of her decisions up to that point, but there was nothing she could do to turn back time.

She felt dirty and disgusting for the first time in her life.

The disgust was more targeted at herself than him.

Deva stood under the shower, back in her dorm room as she closed her eyes tightly.

She scrubbed her body over and over again until her skin went bright red, but she still couldn't seem to shake off the feeling of being repulsive.

God knows she didn't want to, but she still did it.

She kept her eyes closed as she grabbed the soap again, tightly gripping the loofah and scrubbing her body again, feeling the burning against her skin but not stopping.

Deva felt like crying as she leaned her head against the wall.

"What did I do? You're so fucking stupid, Deva."

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Deva ate her lunch quietly as she looked down at her book, focusing wholly on the book as if that was the only thing that existed.

She couldn't let herself look away from it, because if she let her mind wonder, the feeling of disgust was going to reach her over and over again as if it was stuck to her like gum.

She reached the last page of the book, wondering what to do now. Closing the book, she focused on eating the pasta in front of her.

But she felt tears of frustration threatening to come out.

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A knock on her door made her stand up, place a robe on herself to cover her pajama shorts and open the door.

"Dev, hey."

Deva stared at Jake in slight shock for a moment before opening the door further.

He walked in the room and sat down on the bed like he used to.

"Where's Logan?"

"She went back home for the weekend."

She sat down on the desk chair after taking off the robe, noticing it was just Jake, and he had probably seen her in worse.

Jake noticed the redness that was still evident on her skin and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Are you okay? I didn't see you in the library or in the lunchroom."

Deva felt a strange sense of deja vu as he said those words, making her almost smile as she remembered the time he had come to her the day after his party.

"You were looking for me?"

"Maybe. I just happened to notice that you weren't around." He spoke as he grabbed the bear and played with its ears.

"I'm okay." She answered him quietly as she crossed her arms.

Jake hummed as he watched for a few more seconds, before standing up and suddenly walking out of the door, making Deva look after him in slight confusion.

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The door to the room suddenly opened again, and a big bag of snacks was emptied onto the desk.