Ziam one shots

I'm letting you know (2)

Chapter 2: Parts III and IV

Chapter Text
Part III:

Liam goes into autopilot. It's the only way he can explain it. He stops thinking about what he's doing, stops consciously being Liam Payne. He still does everything he's meant to, still plays his part, but he's not mentally present.

He did this after the break up, fell so far into himself that he hardly knew what he was doing daily, and the lads recognize it and leave him alone.

They leave him alone to think about Zayn.

And he does.

For the first time in almost two years, Liam really lets himself think about Zayn.

He thinks about how they got together, how they moved in together, how they braided their lives together. His mind dances over memories, flitting out of order, from happy to sad without inclination. He doesn't control it; he just remembers.

"We are not getting floor-to-ceiling curtains," Liam snorts, unable to contain his fond eye roll when Zayn pouts back at him.

"C'mon babe, it'd be sick. We could sleep at any time."

"You already can sleep at any time, and I like the morning."

Zayn shudders. "Who the hell likes the morning? The sun's all bright and shit."

Liam wraps his arms around Zayn unable to help it when Zayn's acting the way he is. (When Zayn's acting any way actually because there isn't a part of Zayn that Liam doesn't love completely, even if Zayn's being ridiculous about their future flat together). "Nothing shines brighter than you babe," he whispers into his ear, giggling when Zayn groans.

"Sappy, babe." Zayn presses a kiss to his cheek after he says it though, like he needs to prove that he doesn't mean it as an insult, like Liam doesn't already know he loves it.

But Liam takes full advantage and turns his head, snagging a kiss and deepening it when Zayn doesn't immediately pull away.

And remembers –

"Are all of these mine?" Liam asks amusedly, looking back over his shoulder with the wardrobe's doors wide open. Zayn hums without looking up from where he's sketching on the bed.

"Zayn."

He blinks up at Liam, brow furrowed behind the rims of his glasses. "Yes."

He's unashamed about the fact that his closet is literally full of only Liam's shirts, and it melts Liam completely. (That and the fact that Zayn's wearing his glasses).

Liam doesn't even hesitate as he stalks over to the bed, and he doesn't miss the smirk Zayn gives him before he kisses him.

And remembers –

"Don't go back," he presses the words into Zayn's bare shoulder, emboldened by the darkness surrounding them.

Zayn shifts but doesn't try to turn fully around. Liam tightens his arms just in case he does try, unwilling to let Zayn go and allow that. "Babe?"

Liam's eyes slide closed at the confusion in Zayn's face. He struggles against a crushing wave of sadness, making himself focus on the present – on Zayn's warm, naked body in his arms as they lie in his bed, drifting towards sleep.

"Just don't go back," he mumbles finally, unwilling to explain it further. He doesn't want to admit that he's already thinking about tomorrow morning, doesn't want to admit that he's terrified he's going to wake up to an empty bed, doesn't want to admit that he loathes even saying her name.