Ziam one shots

Wrong for too long- Chapter 4: My love and devotion

Part 4

Zayn was feeling awful when he woke up from his nap. Not even Liam's arms around him made him feel good, because he felt like he didn't deserve his love. When he realized how much damage he did without noticing, he wished he had the strength to flinch away from Liam's touch, but he collapsed over him. Now he couldn't let him go. His hand was clutching Liam's t-shirt in a vice-like grip, trembling with the force of it.

"Babe," Liam said, softly, noticing Zayn tense in his arms, a clear sign he was awake. "Are you okay?" he asked, but he knew Zayn wasn't well.

"Not really, no," he answered, hiding his face on Liam's chest. "I've almost ruined your life," he whispered, anguished with guilt.

"No," Liam said, firmly. "You didn't ruin anything."

"Not because of me," he mumbled bitterly. "If there's nothing completely ruined, that's solely because of you. You're brave enough to fight for yourself, for your sanity." Zayn's voice was cracking.

Liam sighed, tightening his hold around Zayn, but he didn't deny it.

"I didn't want to have this conversation with you, because I feared what you would tell me. At first, I believed you thought I was lame―."

"You weren't lame," Zayn cut him off, fiercely. "You were a target, because you were alone and vulnerable. You weren't lame. And I never thought you were. Never." Zayn had to make sure Liam knew that and believed it.

"Okay," Liam conceded. "But, even if you thought it, I'd understand you. Like, I was bullied, I didn't look good―"

"You looked good!" Zayn interfered, again. "You were always cute."

"Well, I didn't have any reason to think I was cute," Liam said. He was calm about that now. He had overcome it a few years ago. It wasn't something that hurt him anymore. Now he knew that even if he was lame or ugly, he didn't deserve to be bullied. No one deserves to be bullied. Ever. "Well. The fact is that I believed that every imprint was what you thought about me. I decided I would change the way you saw me after the first imprint. I started to work out, I tried the cross country team... But then, Percy discovered it. I couldn't stand that place anymore, so I quit trying to make you like me and begged my parents to get me out of there. That was the best thing I could have done, to be honest. At the new school I met Niall and he was my friend since the start. He helped me a lot." Liam smiled softly, remembering.

"When the try-outs for the Olympics came and the 'try-hard' imprint appeared," Zayn flinched when he heard that. "I still thought you saw me as some pathetic kid." Zayn could sense the hurt in Liam's voice - hurt he put there, and it was killing him. "And then, when we saw each other after two years, you said you hated me. And I didn't even know what I did for you to hate me." Liam swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. Zayn was motionless, dreading what Liam would tell him next. "Like, how did the despise turn into hate in one day? Was it a building thing that you only expressed that day? Or was it because we won the game? Did I say something that pissed you off at that interview? And now, you tell me you never thought I was lame..." He shook his head, trying to picture everything in his mind. "But I get why you did all of that. You were trying to protect yourself. I don't think you were right, far from that, but I get you."

Zayn closed his eyes, ashamed. Liam was so kind. He was hurt, but was saying that he understood Zayn.

"I wasn't trying to protect myself that day when―" Zayn stopped his whisper, he simply couldn't finish the sentence with what he had said that day. But Liam had the right to know the truth. Liam was frowning, but he kept cuddling Zayn, thinking he needed the support. "That day, my dad came to talk to me at night, after the game. He was so impressed with you, you know? And I was trying to find your social medias... I got frustrated when I couldn't find anything, I thought you had all the people from my school blocked, and I was pissed. So. My dad said a lot of good things about you. He said you were a strong soul, and that's what you are, you turned something awful that happened to you into your strength and-. I got jealous. So jealous... It's so ridiculous, but it's the truth.