HIS SIDEKICK

18.) Downhill Spiral

DEAR DIARY, 10/12/2024

There's something about a first kiss. Something that is so euphoric, yet numbing. Not the depressing kind of numb, but the kind where you lose feeling in all parts of your body, and especially your legs. It's like merely touching lips with a person you feel so strongly about shuts down your entire body. Almost like that's all you have ever needed, like you're finally completed. Like you don't need to worry about tomorrow or the next day, but in my case I do. I just moved out of Jaxon Scott's fucking house.

Now I know, I know Jaxon is the boy who single handled gave me the best, and first kiss I've ever had in my entire fucking life, but he's also the boy who broke my fucking heart.

Let me take you back to where this all began.

Jaxon and I may not have started off on the wrong foot. There was the party where I majorly embarrassed myself in front of him. There was the time after the party where I was such a mess he had to hurl me into my house where my parents got us both arrested. There was the time I spectated a huge fight with his parents, causing the now scar underneath his eye. There was Ari, whose existence I am still not completely over. There was the time I ran away from Ryders house and ended up in the hood, and lastly the time I blew up on him inside of that fancy Chinese restaurant he politely took me too, or sort of took me too...

The point is, I thought there was no chance at all for him and I, but oh how wrong I was. After the five minutes we spent in Ryders Jeep things skyrocketed. About two weeks after moving in with Ryder, Jaxon decided it would be best if we moved back home. Yes you heard me, we. In the sense that I would go and live with him, and me being the hopeless romantic I agreed to it. Things were great at the time and I honestly couldn't have seen what could go wrong.

We were having so much sex every single night. Not the real kind of sex, but oral sex. That was as far as I was willingly to go. We would stay up late for no reason watching Disney movies, of his choice not mine. Every night I knew to pop the popcorn because Jaxon could never watch a movie without popcorn.

I put my pencil down, inwardly cringing at the memory of him licking the butter from his hands, before putting them inside of me. I should have never let him do that! I shake my head, picking my pencil back up to continue.

We weren't an exclusive couple or anything. He had never proposed the idea, and I had never asked him to, but it felt so much like we were! We had a routine. A kind that we didn't purposely make, but that just happened and that worked. As much time as we loved spending together we also had best friends of our own. Ryder and Jaxon hung out of course, but so did Riley and I. When school started to creep up on us, Ryder and Jaxon had to start there summer practices and training which left more time for Riley and I to spend together. Although most hangouts ended with us heading to our high school football field watching them practice.

Later on Jaxons father started to warm up to me a bit, though I still had no luck with his mother. I made sure I always thanked them for everything they were doing for me. I helped around the house, like with dishes, or vacuuming, and it almost seemed like his dad slowly started to like me. Though for his mothers acceptance I would probably have to wait till death.

Long story short, the school year started two months ago today, and that's when everything went downhill. It started rather quickly actually. On the first day, Jaxon and I road to school together, and it was like everything I thought it would be. There were the questioning stares, and whispers, and even glares, and snarls, but I didn't care. All I cared about was the fact that Jaxon was mine.

Though in fact he wasn't. Remember how I said we never made it exclusive? We weren't technically boyfriend and girlfriend, and boy did he make that clear. I was excited to start my senior year with a boyfriend, and my best friend. Was I naive to think I had him all figured out? Was I stupid for believing his lies? I don't know, but I never expected to see him with Ari the second day of school, and I never expected to react the way I did.