HIS SIDEKICK

27.) Friends ?

Jaxons POV:

"What happened to us?"

There is a lot that could go wrong with that one question. Now could be the time I told her the truth... but for some reason seeing her like this with the tears running down her eyes... it just isn't the time.

"What do you mean?" That's a stupid question, seeing as how I know exactly what she means.

"We were inseparable over the summer, and then- was that all it was?" I watched as more tears began piling in her eyes.

"Was it all just some summer romance doomed from the beginning?" Yes, but I couldn't tell her that.

How am I supposed to break her heart and tell her that I am arranged to be married? How am I supposed to tell the girl that I fell in love with over the summer that it ends there?

That the reason I couldn't hold her hand in school was because that's when the deal with my step-father had ended.

My fists clenched, shaking at my sides. I  couldn't get his words out of my head.

"Fine! Since you are so hell bent on giving this girl your time. You have till the end of the summer to break it off with her and finally commit to your fiancé!"

"That's only three months!"

"Those are three months you shouldn't even be getting. You knew what you were signing up for at the beginning of last year."

I sighed, accepting my defeat. I was playing off of my emotions when I let Ari walk away from me that day at Ryders house... when I kissed Jasmine. I knew better.

Now she's hurt because I was never honest with her. How could I tell her now? I couldn't.

"I made a mistake."

That was all I could say in that moment. Was the mistake lying to her? Was the mistake falling in love with her? Was it breaking her heart? The truth is that I made multiple mistakes, that all resulted in her heart getting broken.

How could I be so selfish?

"A mistake?" Her eyes were glossy from crying, but I couldn't ignore her back and forth rhythm from the cold. I gripped her coat in my hand, swinging it around her shoulders.

"You were everything to me." Her eyes swung, searching mine as she spoke. Probably looking for the guy she met last summer.

My heart clenched in my chest at her words. And you were everything to me. You still are. That's what I wanted to say, but I couldn't. It had to end here, for good.

"I have so many apologies for you Jasmine. You can't even imagine."

"I'm sorry about how I ended things, I'm sorry about Ari, and for hurting you. I never intended to push you away so much. I just needed you to-

I stopped myself. I couldn't hint at that fact that I had to push her away, that I had to ice her out to get her to leave me.

"You needed me to what?" Her voice was soft. Nothing like how I thought our talk would be. I imagined her angry, or dismissive. It's almost like she could see right through me. Almost like she knew I was holding something back.

Her was were pleading, her voice was pleading.

"Nothing." I sighed, running a shaking hand through my curls.

"Do you think, after all of the shit I put you through we could possibly be friends?" I sucked in a breath waiting for her response.

"No."

"How could I ever forgive you?"

"Fuck no."

My brain was racing with every possible thing she could throw my way.

"If you promise me one thing." Her voice was almost like a whisper.

"Promise me you'll talk to me before you just completely cut me out of your life, and that you will never hurt me like that again." I couldn't hold back the grin that was forming on my lips. She was letting me back in, she was forgiving me-

"That doesn't mean I forgive you for what you did, but it means I'm willing to try."

Forgive and forget. No. Forgive, but never forget.