needed // yuyeon.

chapter one.

I'm jolted awake by the sound of my alarm. I sit up, sigh, then remember what day it is.

Shuhua and I are starting a new job.

At a lingerie shop.

It definitely isn't where I saw myself a while ago, but it's fun and pays well and we get stuff for free. And I have Shuhua with me, which helps. I guess.

I get out of bed and stretch before leaving my room and heading downstairs. I can smell nutella, which immediately puts a smile on my face. Haku and Mata start wagging their tails as they see me, so I bend down to give them the daily morning belly rubs.

"Good morning," I say cheerfully. My housekeeper, Jihyun, smiles at me. "What am I smelling?"

"Your favorite," She says, then puts a plate of small crepes filled with nutella on the table. I smile, straightening up and taking a seat. "Good morning to you too."

"Yah, Jihyun, I need to eat healthy." I say.

"Oh, come on."

I chuckle and start to eat. Jihyun cooks so, so well. It's times like these that I realize how lucky I am to have her.

"So, new job, huh?" She says. "I would've never thought you of all people would get a job at a lingerie shop."

"Me either," I reply. "But the opportunity came up, we were both jobless, so we took the chance. It'll be fun working with her."

Jihyun sighs. "I still don't get why you didn't stay an influencer just to work with her, but okay."

"She's my best friend, Jihyun. I'd do anything for her."

"But she doesn't do the same for you." Jihyun mutters. I don't think I was supposed to hear that.

"Everything's in the past now, okay?" I say. "Everyone has issues. What matters is that we've talked it all out and put it behind us."

"Whatever you say," She says, raising her eyebrows for a split second.

I understand that she only wants the best for me. But Jihyun needs to see that Shuhua and I have put every argument behind us, no matter how bad it was. We're okay now. It's all in the past.

It's all in the past.

Right?

I snap myself back into reality and sigh as I finish my food. I give Jihyun my plate, thank her for the food, and go back upstairs with the dogs following behind me.

But the good mood I was in when I woke up is nowhere to be found now.

I don't like to think about what I went through with Shuhua. All the arguments we had a few months ago, calling each other all kinds of names or her slapping me and grabbing me by my hair and me still begging her not to leave. All because she dated someone, slowly leaving jealous me who was starting to fall in love with her behind. I just wanted my best friend. I just wanted to feel loved and needed again. Nothing else mattered.

But now we act like none of that ever happened. And I'm trying so hard to act like it doesn't bother me because I genuinely have no one else. Miyeon would never get as close to me as she is with Shuhua and her other friends. Miyeon only comes to me when Shuhua isn't available.

I have no one. No consistent friends, no lover, and my family is all the way back in China. I only have a best friend that has managed to hurt me more than anyone else ever has and a housekeeper that's moving away in a month.

I try not to think about how alone I genuinely am and how many friends I used to have back then. Before everything with Shuhua happened, I was always surrounded by people. I was even about to date someone I was close to just to forget about my growing feelings for Shuhua. But then all hell broke loose and Shuhua told everyone how needy I was and how jealous I was and suddenly everyone I loved and cherished started walking out of my life.