needed // yuyeon.

epilogue.

August 26th
Bangkok, Thailand.

.          .          .

And she started all over again.

I shouldn't be thinking about this. About anything related to what happened, because we promised we'd leave it all behind us. But Yuqi should also know that I've never been capable of doing that.

I stare at the ceiling of our suite as I wonder what I would have done if I were in her place. Maybe, if I knew what was coming, I would've left the morning after we had sex and leave everyone behind to resume the old, fun life in China. Yuqi could've actually done that. She took me to meet her parents and her friends a few weeks ago, and they're all very supportive. It would've been an interesting choice.

A notification pings on my phone. It's 12 a.m. It's my birthday.

Yuqi opens her eyes and looks at me with a smile. I smile back.

"Happy birthday." She says softly.

"Thank you." I reply.

"I need to go get your gifts at the reception. Don't ask how I brought all of the stuff you're going to see with me. I just did."

I smile at her once again. "Okay."

We both get up and I watch as Yuqi brushes her teeth and hair, rushing as if she's nervous about something. She does this sometimes. It's concerning. And it reminds me of Minnie.

"Do I look okay?" She asks. "Presentable?"

"Yep."

"You aren't looking properly."

Yuqi walks closer to me and places her hands on my shoulders. I look up at her.

"You look cute," I say softly, brushing out strands of her hair. "Don't rush."

She smiles, leaning her head on my palm for a second. I stop playing with her hair and just admire her as she closes her eyes for one more short moment before pulling away.

"I won't be long." Yuqi says, putting on her flip flops and rushing out of the suite. Then my phone buzzes.

I stare at my notifications for a little bit. I have messages from my parents, sister, Soojin, and Shuhua. I know I should reply to the others first, but my finger hovers over her message on Instagram. I give in, and my eyes are met with a long paragraph.

hey. i'm sorry if this is weird but happy birthday. i know its your birthday because i saw soojin typing on her phone and i got mad because who would she be texting at midnight you know? so she said its your birthday.
i want to apologise for everything i've said and everything you've heard about me, because it's probably true. ever since i lost my control, as yuqi and minnie say, i haven't been sure of anything i wanted in life. but i did know one thing, and that was that i needed yuqi by my side. so everything i've done was because i was upset and i just wanted her to be mine again. i'm sorry for implying that it's all your fault at certain times, because it really isn't. in fact, the more i think about you or look at you, i realize we're not that much different. i assume you agree, right? we both just needed someone.
anyway. im sorry. this went too far. happy birthday and i hope you have a good day and a good rest of your vacation ❤️