needed // yuyeon.

chapter twenty.

Sleepover tonight. At Shuhua's totally not shitty place.

Those words are the first things I think of as I open my eyes, along with the enthusiastic tone that Shuhua said them to me yesterday.

It didn't bother me too much when she first told me, and it didn't bother me yesterday either. But now, the idea of actually sleeping at Shuhua's house, with her and Miyeon too, is making me anxious.

I know I won't even be able to sleep anyway. Even though Shuhua has a gigantic king sized bed that's quite soft as I remember it, but she moves too much. And she sighs. And she kicks me in her sleep. And she groans when she wakes up. Meanwhile, Miyeon always snores. We have never had a single sleepover where she hasn't snored. She doesn't snore heavily, but it's still annoying. She even has the audacity to ask for cuddles.

Soyeon sleeps quietly. Why can't they do the same?

I also need to be wary of what I tell them tonight. I can't have Shuhua and Miyeon up my ass about my love for Soyeon and about selling my house and living with her.

Oh, right, I live with Soyeon now.

I still can't wrap my head around that idea.

Everything that is mine is now hers, and everything that is hers is now mine. My clothes are hers. My makeup is hers. My books and my earphones and my laptop is hers. My dogs are hers.

Basically, I am hers. But I've accepted that a long time ago.

I suddenly remember the photos Soojin took of us. I gave her my number during the show last night, so she should have sent them to me. Now I have something to post after a week or so to continue being called an influencer.

Soyeon is still asleep with her head rested on my chest and her arm draped over my stomach. She's just so adorable, and I don't want to wake her up, but I need to do this. I carefully move my arm that was wrapped around her, and I can't even feel it anymore. It's numb, but at least Soyeon was comfy.

I feel her clutch my shirt as I lean over the nightstand to grab my phone, so I place the hand I can't feel over hers. I grab my phone and see that I have a few notifications. Soyeon clings onto my arm.

I ignore the messages I've gotten and go straight to Instagram. There's a ton of people in my comments asking where the fuck I am, and rightfully so. I look at my posts, and the last one was over two weeks ago. There's a photo of me holding some lingerie that Shuhua took of me, then a selfie with her. It was our first day at 'I Feel'.

I sigh.

Luckily, Soojin has sent me the photos. I look at both of them for a little bit. They're almost identical, but Soyeon and I are leaning a little more against that bar in the second one. Still, I love how bright and genuine our smiles look. It's too good not to post.

I click on the button to make a new post and select both of the photos before starting to write a caption.

had the best time last night with @tiny.pretty.j ❤️

photos by @_seosootang

I stare at it for a bit. Considering the fact that I have not posted in almost three weeks, that caption sounds too enthusiastic and it's too much. I remove the with.

had the best time last night. @tiny.pretty.j ❤️

photos by @_seosootang

Nope. Still too much.

So, I simply just tag Soyeon's account, put the red heart next to it and tag Soojin's account at the end. I also add the location of the festival. Now it looks right. Maybe I'll post a story after this briefly explaining why I've been gone.