TIMES TWO

HI GUYS , THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE

How are you guys?
I'm so sorry for not updating here.
I've been sick for two weeks and got temporary lay off at work.
Been through a lot and even fell in love hahaha it all happened in a month .

I fell in love with someone.

Then got my heart broken.

🥹

I've met her in a group chat for Freen Becky Fans . We have a lot of members there but there was this one late evening when it was just 4 of us active. Me and her then other two people. We were doing face reveal . We've sent photos , even TikTok videos and we sent voice message singing. Then there's this one girl let's
just call her as "Darling" not her real name. She even got a nickname in the group chat as
Tee'rak , this was around February 8 .

Fast forward I got a little crush on her. She said she's 21 and I'm 25. All members in the group know I got crush on her and they always tease us even on group call.

Then I've got courage to chat her.
But she said she's straight and that she is only gay for Freen because she is very charismatic.

So long story short I've told her I like her but because she's talented , just that. But I didn't want anything or what . Just simple admiration.

Then I will chat her like every once a week or sometimes once every two weeks .
I'm not sure about the exact date but long story short she got drunk then she chatted on our group chat asking the members to drink alcohol and asking where she can stay for a night . But the members there didn't comfort her and made fun of her . They had a small fight and I'm not sure if she left or got removed there but even the admin of the group was not in favor of her. In short everyone was against her behavior that night. She got a problem that night. I didn't know as I was at work . I was able to back read when I got off work. 

I felt bad I wasn't there that time to at least be her companion or at least be her partner or be on her side out of all those members. I know she was wrong for acting up but she had reasons .

So then I chatted her asking if she's okay and telling her I can be her friend or sister , whatever she wants me to be. I even told her not to go outside and be alone while drinking . And if she needs someone or a place to stay in she can stay with my apartment which she agreed on but still I told her not to do it again. She got asthma and other type of disease . It's in born, and this stupid heart wanted to take care of her , baby her .

Fast forward we always chat like daily . We even joke at each other. It was very light , sometimes flirty . She would even joke about trying to be in a relationship with a girl and I will volunteer then she will say why not.  I know she was joking so I'd say "as if it's true , don't joke about it , I'm serious with what I feel" then she will just laugh .

She will update me what she eat  , send me photos of where she is and even after bath photo with towel on her head (just head okay , no body)

And I'm very vocal of how I admire her that I want to pursue her. She said that it's fine but it's a long process like it may take time before we get there . At first she was doubting about my feelings because she thinks it might be just an infatuation. I told her not , proved her not.

I even sent her food and a book that she badly wants to buy , delivered to her work place.

I tried to stop what I felt for her. I tried not messaging for couple of days. Put her on restricted though I always check if she got message left. Then until she chatted me , it was the first time because she doesn't take the first move. It's always me that will message first   she was asking why I'm acting cold and if I don't want to reply or chat her that it's fine . She even said that if I don't reply by 1 am then she will no longer reply to me..