a beautiful lie (continued/ original by winternightz)

Just A Woman

Getting ready to go to the night club felt slow and torturous. I open the huge dark oak wardrobe to find another skimpy dress hanging up waiting for me. I pull it off the hanger and feel the material in my hands for a while, it was a silky, white, tight dress that would just about cover my arse if i tugged it down enough. It had string straps and a bow at the back, I guess to make me look more 'child-like' as thats what the men seem to enjoy. Roman had also put a white headband on the hanger and two white scrunchies so I could decide weather I wanted pig tails or a headband. I chose the headband, it feels wrong to imitate a child whilst doing sex work. Also, id rather not destroy my inner child even more.

I sat at the vanity where all of my makeup lay scattered across the glass top as if someone had dumped the bag of makeup there and left it. I picked up the foundation bottle and began applying it, patting it into my now hollow pale skin. Next was concealer, I put it under my eyes to cover up my dark eye bags. Next i picked up my blush, I brushed some onto my face, I used to have natural blush before i met Tom. Then was contour, I only put a little onto my face as I have lost so much weight in my face that I don't really need much, only a bit to define my cheekbones. Finally was that bright red lipstick I hate. I undid the screw and put it onto my lips.

I look at myself for a while. Not admiring myself though. I despise myself. I don't recognise the girl who's staring back at me. Her eyes are sunken and emotionless, her cheeks are hollow, and her lips are a disgusting bright red. I hate her. I hate how she dresses so slutty, how she reeks of cheap perfume and alcohol and how shes so lost, so afraid, so weak.

I put on my heels and pick up my tiny purse that wouldn't even fit anything in it and i walk out of the room.

The door to the SUV is being held open for me and I just get in, no fighting, no complaining, not even a grunt of disgust. I just get in. Angel and Kristina are already sat waiting on me. I do my usual routine, stare Kristina down, make small talk with Angel, stare at Roman through the wing mirror and get out at the club to give myself away to an undeserving man. I fucking hate it.

Lucy greets me at the door again
"the man you saw the other day, the high paying one he's back again. Pull any of the shit you did the other night and you will regret it. do not disappoint Roman again. he's already growing sick of your bullshit"
without waiting for my response she just walks up the stairs and i trail behind, wondering weather its Georg again or if its the fat blonde man who assaulted me. A pit forms at my stomach from thinking what that man might have in store for me as i got away from him last time after smashing a bottle over his head. I cant bear to think about what he might do to me.

"have fun!" she says I start to walk forward but she puts her arm out in front of me making me stop in my tracks "make us proud" she threatens under her breath, quiet enough so no one else would hear, yet loud enough to send daggers into my stomach. 'fuck you' I think to myself, wishing I could say it out loud.

Be a good girl Taylor, please be good.
"hello sir, nice of you to come back after what happened last time... i am well and truly sorry and I will do what I can to please you sir." i say.
I hate the words that just came out of my mouth the better Taylor would never say such a thing. But I am Crimson now, I fucking hate that name.

I feel a pair of hands touch my shoulders, but there not the same clammy ones from last time
"Taylor, love, its me. Sit down we need to talk"
hearing Georg's voice was such a relief to me I almost broke down.
"who where you apologising to, and why? Thats not the Taylor I know, what happened."
he looks well and truly concerned for me, so much so that he handed me a tissue just in case.
"oh, just an uhm incident I had with a client last night aha. Nothing to worry about!"
I want to tell him, I really really do, but Im still unsure, and afraid.
"oh.. right. Well I just wanted to let you know that were still working on getting you out Taylor, I promise. Gustav even stopped drinking as much so he could pay full attention, I want you to know that were serious about this. So i need to know, are you?" he says, staring me dead in the eyes

I pause. Not from the sudden reassurance but from a kind of... guilt. Of course I have to make my mind up as soon as i make friends. But I've trusted people who i thought were my friends like Lauren and Ria and look how that all turned out.
Fuck them. Why would i care about three irrelevant girls I just met. Who knows where they came from and who theyre tied in with

"Im serious. I need to get out of here Georg. I hate it."

"well then. You really need to behave. And I mean it if you don't, you might be dead by the time we come in to rescue you. So Im saying this because I need you to come home in one piece Taylor. Fucking behave" his tone changed.
I don't like how he called their mansion home. It never felt like home, but maybe without Tom around it might feel a bit safer. But I don't give a shit about that I just need to get out.
"I'm strong Georg, you know that. Right?"

"you're just a woman Taylor. I mean, even a child could beat you around. You look frail and sorry if i'm wrong but you look drugged up, and if you want to consider that strong then so be it, but to a big strong man like Roman, you are just a woman."

Id like to think he's only saying that to scare me into behaving so him and the gang can come and swoop me up, but I know deep down its true. I am just a woman.